In Step With My Father

Daddy held my hand as we entered the arched iron gates to the botanical gardens. Memories of his buying me Wrigley’s gum, elephant ear pastries, and Matchbox cars still bring a smile. He carried me when I was injured and scraped every speck of black pepper off my food. And bumper cars. I hated them, but I never told him because I liked to hear him laugh—and we were together.

I lived with Grandma in the countryside on the north coat of Jamaica, and Daddy lived on the south coast in the city, so I treasured his visits. He gave me a toypiano, like Schroeder’s in the “Peanuts” comic strip. I played it as loudly as I could because I believed it would make him visit us sooner. I loved our adventures. Sometimes he brought gifts.

One morning, Daddy showed up for a visit and handed me a big box. Grandma gave him a warning look as he hadn’t sought her pre-approval on this one—a tie-dye set. Perhaps he thought his gift was just fine for a six-year-old and Grandma’s nice tile floors.

“You gave her the tie dye set. You get her cleaned up!” Grandma said and pushed us outside. A bucket of soapy water, a scrub brush, and our stifled laughter under the mango tree. Pinned to the clothesline, my brightly colored creation flapped happily in the breeze. I loved that hat.

We made kites with bamboo and tissue paper. They always crashed, but that was okay. He drove too fast on the windy island mountain roads in his little ultramarine Triumph Spitfire. At the amusement park, Daddy emerged pale and shaky after riding the corkscrew roller coaster, but waited for me while I went again. He got upset when I fared better with a drop line than he did with his expensive fishing rod.

When I was a young teen, he took me to Disney World. His camera bag embarrassed me, as it looked like a purse, and I feared someone might recognize us. So I pretended I didn’t know him and walked several feet ahead, or behind.

Daddy wouldn’t let me accept the invitation to run off for the day with the boy I met at the Disney resort. I cried when Daddy scared him away. All the boys were afraid of my daddy. I didn’t yet appreciate his protectiveness.

He was a businessman and laughingly called me his rapacious little capitalist for running my underground fudge business at school. I made more than over $1,000 before they caught me. We were proud of the “F” I received for my class presentation on a controversial topic. I did a good job on it and stood up for my beliefs.

Daddy had his problems. At times, he missed the mark—and it was painful. But he loved his children and grandchildren. Sometimes God uses imperfect people to guide our lives if we let Him. We only have a finite amount of time to know, understand, and reconcile with each other, to extend forgiveness and grace like God does to us. I’m grateful for our time. Life is too short, and eternity too near to be at odds with those God calls us to love.

Then one day he was gone. Just. Like. That. Death gave no warning. I didn’t know that was our last I love you. I wasn’t ready. But God is the one who numbers our days; He said it was time.

Though he’s gone, his voice still echoes in my mind. “Daugh-tah, come here. Child of mine, I love you so much, yuh see,” my father would say in his accent.

My Daddy made mistakes; he wasn’t a perfect father. None of them are. Except for one. He calls me daughter too.

The Perfect Father

Relentless and reckless in His love for us,

He seeks and rescues us from our wanderings.

God is ever-present.

He is holy.

He is our help in all He calls us to,

A father to the fatherless.

He offers hope and healing to the hurting heart,

Strength to the weak,

Forgiveness from failure,

A new beginning at the end of our road.

In my destitution,

He clothed me in His righteousness.

Adopted and adored,

Never alone.

I come into His presence,

Call Him Abba, Father.

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12 NLT)

“You received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’” (Romans 8:15 NLT)

*This piece, In Step with My Father, was originally posted on 6/10/2016. Revisions and additions made in 2017 and 6/2025.

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God is the only perfect father. He is a father to the fatherless. Jesus went to great lengths to meet us where we are. He left his throne in Heaven, donned human flesh, and died to save us from our sin, and reconcile us to Himself, to God. He loves us in spite of ourselves. But we have to accept Him.

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. Psalms 68:5

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.  ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3:26‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Father, daughter, son, is there a breach that needs mending? Will you start the journey to restoration? Just take one small step. May I suggest the first one be to pray; and the second, forgive? Maybe you won’t get where you’d like to on this side of eternity. Maybe you are only able to take those first two steps. That’s okay. Just start, and let God be God, the mender of hearts. Extend grace like God does for us, even though we don’t deserve it.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   ‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”   Matthew‬ ‭6:14-15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”   Matthew‬ ‭18:21-22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

SONG: 70×70 – Chris August (Official video) 

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.   ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:31-32‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

SONG: The Blessing – Jim Trick

Dads- your children, your wives, your country needs you. Will you step up to the plate?

“Here I am Father. Forgive me. Help me to forgive those who hurt me. Help me to step in Your footprints, and walk a little closer with You Jesus.”

SONG: Lead Me – Sanctus Real

Yeah, you are probably going to mess up sometimes, stumble and fall in the process. But God will pick you up. He’s like that.

SONG: Good, Good Father – Chris Tomlin

LINK TO: The Father Effect, Movie – 3 Minute Trailer (*Warning: Contains some sensitive material) 

John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to…  http://thefathereffect.com/about 

RESOURCES

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Encouraging Dads: 30 Short Stories That Inspire & Encourage Dads Kindle Edition

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