Our culture spends a lot of time demeaning men and undermining the importance of the role of fathers, but wonders at the staggering numbers of fatherless and troubled children. To the fathers out there who stick it out and stand up for their families, and to the men who have stepped up to the plate to fill someone else’s shoes—thank you. You play a vital role not only in your family, but your positive impact is felt throughout society.
My heart aches for those who do not have a father in their lives or perhaps not a good relationship with them. My parents were divorced and I remember the longing and loneliness of watching friends make cards for Mother’s Day while mine was overseas and I had little contact with her at the time. Some feel this emptiness because their parent has died, is not a part of their life, or is physically present but emotionally absent. For those, Fathers Day can be hard. Or perhaps you know a dad who is not shouldering his responsibilities, or doesn’t know how to be a father and needs someone to come alongside and help him. I’m hoping if you know of such a person, you will consider reaching out as a friend or father figure.Continue reading “A Father to the Fatherless”
I remember Daddy holding my hand as we entered the gates to the botanical gardens, Wrigley’s gum, Elephant Ear pastries, Matchbox cars, him carrying me when I was hurt, and scraping every speck of black pepper off my food. And bumper cars. I hated them, but I never told him because I liked to hear him laugh—and we were together.
Daddy was pale and shaky after riding the corkscrew roller coaster. We made kites with bamboo and tissue paper. They always crashed, but that was okay. He drove way too fast on the windy island mountain roads in his little ultramarine Triumph Spitfire. He got upset when I fared better with a drop line than he did with his expensive fishing rod.
*This piece, In Step with My Father, was originally posted on 6/10/2016. Some revisions and additions have been made.
“You gave her the tie dye set. You get her cleaned up!” said Grandma as she pushed us outside. A bucket of soapy water, a scrub brush and our stifled laughter under the mango tree. Pinned to the clothesline, my brightly colored creation flapped happily in the breeze. I loved that hat!
He gave me a piano, like Schroeder’s in the Peanuts comic strip. I played it as loud as I could because I thought it would make him visit sooner.
I pretended I didn’t know him when he took me to Disney World. I walked several feet ahead, or behind, because I thought his camera bag looked like a purse and I feared someone might recognize us. Tears coursed down my cheeks when he wouldn’t let me run off for the day with the boy I met at the resort. All the boys were afraid of my daddy.
He was a businessman. He laughingly called me his “rapacious little capitalist” for running my underground fudge business at school. I made over $1000 before they caught me. We were proud of the “F” I received for my class presentation on a controversial topic: I did a good job on it and I stood for what I believed. When I ran away he followed me.
Daddy had his problems, but he loved his children and grandchildren. Sometimes he missed the mark. We all do, some more than others. But God uses imperfect fathers, imperfect people, to guide our lives sometimes if we let Him.
Then, one day he was gone. Just. Like. That. —No warning. I didn’t know that was our last “I love you.” I wasn’t ready. But God is the one who numbers our days; He said it was time. We have a finite amount of time to love, to know, to understand and reconcile with each other. He wasn’t a perfect father. None of them are, you know? Except for one.
God is the only perfect father. He is afather to the fatherless. Jesus went to great lengths to meet us where we are. He left his throne in Heaven, donned human flesh, and died to save us from our sin, and reconcile us to Himself, to God. He loves us in spite of ourselves. But we have to accept Him.
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. Psalms 68:5
“Daugh-tah, come here. Child of mine, I love you so much, yuh see.” my father would say in his accent. God calls me daughter too, he calls me to himself. He wants to call you son or daughter too. God wants to do life with us. And when people fall short of our expectations and our needs aren’t met, God is always there for us. He is our sufficiency, the difference maker. He is enough.
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26 NLT
But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12 NLT
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15 NLT
Father, daughter, son, is there a breach that needs mending? Will you start the journey to restoration? Just take one small step. May I suggest the first one be to pray; and the second,forgive? Maybe you won’t get where you’d like to on this side of eternity. Maybe you are only able to take those first two steps. That’s okay. Just start, and let God be God, the mender of hearts. Extend grace like God does for us, even though we don’t deserve it.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 NKJV
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NLT
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22 NLT
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV
SONG: The Blessing – Jim Trick
Dads- your children, your wives, your country needs you. Will you step up to the plate?
“Here I am Father. Forgive me. Help me to forgive those who hurt me. Help me to step in Your footprints, and walk a little closer with You Jesus.”
SONG: Lead Me – Sanctus Real
Yeah, you are probably going to mess up sometimes, stumble and fall in the process. But God will pick you up. He’s like that.
SONG: Good, Good Father – Chris Tomlin
LINK TO: The Father Effect, Movie – 3 Minute Trailer (*Warning: Contains some sensitive material)
John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to… http://thefathereffect.com/about
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