When Can-do Won’t Do

“God,” I said, “why is this so hard lately?” Sweat beaded on my forehead and panic set in. I usually take several hours to write the questions to lead the live Bible-based discussion, but less than 90 minutes remained before the start, and I had yet to write one. I’d attempted to write them a few times in the weeks before, to no avail.

“No, I definitely will not be okay unless God helps me,” I responded to a friend during our 540 Writers Community online group-writing session.

“Help me provide something of value to the participants and minister to them,” I prayed.

Though it rarely comes easy, I’ve been blessed to serve on the team which hosts #HealthyFaithChat (a tri-weekly Bible based Q&A on Twitter open to all) since 2016. We draw our subject matter for each series of topics by addressing cultural and spiritual issues from a biblical standpoint, from Christian books, and the study of books of the Bible. But over the last several months, I’ve found many of my assigned topics especially difficult.

Months earlier, I’d begged to get out of hosting the event on my assigned passage of scripture, something I’d never done before. Three times I approached Pastor Obermeyer, one of our leaders, but he refused my plea.

I felt the scripture was beyond my ability to lead with. I cried, panicked, and prayed in frustration. Two questions weren’t enough to engage people for an hour.

Twenty minutes before the event was scheduled to begin, I gave up and took the time I didn’t have and turned on Christian praise music and worshiped God. I focused on and filled up on Him. And suddenly, God enabled me to write the previously elusive eight questions—minutes before the start. (Thank you, Lord.)

“Maybe the Lord chose you for that one to grow you a little,” Pastor Obermeyer said. “We don’t sidestep verses just because they’re tough, soldier. You really did a great job, and I think those people needed to hear those very questions, me included.”

C. S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity was our topic when I debuted as a #HealthyFaithChat leader. It proved a weighty-but-worthy read that stretched me and drew me closer to God. Writing questions to engage, provoke thought, lead people to God’s truth, and draw out responses that will minister to others, requires a different kind of brain exercise than I was used to and evoked desperate prayers.

“Where are the questions, Lord? Show me the questions.”

When had I drifted off into the shallow waters of self-reliance? That’s a sure way to run aground.

God desires to do for us as he did for the disciples and early church—to work with us as we fulfill what He calls us to do. But sometimes I get caught up in the hurry of life and try to strong-arm my way through to just get things done, with little pause to pray. It never goes well.

Then I asked God if writing was so hard to make me come to Him rather than rely on my cleverness—which is not so clever. “And Lord, why is it I seem to so often get the hot button topics or challenging passages to lead?”

God reminded me of the tag line on “The Write Place,” my website’s page for writers: “I just don’t want good ideas. I want the mind and favor of God.” That requires dependence on Him and time in prayer—in addition to my morning devotions. Earnestly and specifically seeking God’s help before I tackle a topic—before study or I type a word.

Once again, my blank screen stared back at me, the blinking cursor a reminder of the minutes ticking by.

I glanced at the words I’d written that hang on my office wall: 

I looked for inspiration,
and found none.
Then I sought You, Lord,
and I was inspired.

And I bowed my head and took the time.

I feared my questions were sub-par for this most recent #HealthyFaithChat, yet more than 20 people showed up, including some who’d never attended before. Monday night #HealthyFaithChat runs from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern Time, but people are welcome to continue the conversation and leave comments afterward. I checked the thread at 11 p.m. and again at 1 a.m. and was delighted to see a slew of new answers. And next morning I awoke to more.

When my can-do won’t do and when my self-sufficiency isn’t sufficient, Jesus is the difference maker.

Isn’t Jesus amazing? Not only that He helps, but He wants us—wants to spend time with us.

It’s in the deep waters of surrender and seeking God that the breath of the Holy Spirit fills our sails with his power, presence, and inspiration.

“I am the vine, you are the branches.
He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit;
for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5 NKJV)

SONG: Consumed By Fire | First Things First  (A favorite song of mine. I wish I’d written it. It is my prayer.)

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    Christmas 2017 In the year of our meager manger, a snowman made of sand, a lone shepherd, and two sheep showed up for the annual frenzied day-of-decoration at our home.—Sans Mary, Joseph, Jesus, or anyone else.
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Updates on the journey coming soon. 🙂 Thank you for your patience and for joining me. God bless you. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

© 2023 Rachael M Colby | Tattoo It On your Heart

Author: Rachael M. Colby

Rachel M. Colby has a heart for reconciliation and a passion to uplift those who serve in tough places. She writes to connect cultures’ questions with Christianity’s answers, inspire faith, and motivate. She is an award-winning writer in the categories of articles, poetry, devotions, essays, flash fiction, and children’s picture books. Her article The Integration of Oak Ridge (the subject of her WIP) won the 2022 Selah Award for Articles in Print at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference. She is a longtime member of The Jerry Jenkins Writers Guild and a protégé in the Cecil Murphey Mentoring program. Rachael's work has appeared on the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference Blog, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Christian Devotions, Southern Ohio Christian Voice, Inkspirations Online, in the compilation books Creative Writing Journal: Faith Inspired Writing Prompts & Hope-Filled Poetry, Defining Moments: Memorable and Inspiring Stories from Outstanding Leaders, and The Courage to Write: 62 Devotions to Encourage Your Writing Journey, and in the Oak Ridger newspaper. This Jamaican-born wife, mom, beach bum, artist, work in progress, makes her home in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. She runs on copious amounts of coffee, chocolate, and a whole lot of “Help me, Jesus.”

20 thoughts on “When Can-do Won’t Do”

  2. Hey Rachel, thanks for being so transparent. I, too, have run aground in the “shallow waters of self-reliance.” It’s good for me to scuttle that boat though. I’m always grateful God scoops me up and deposits me back in the safety of His depths.

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  3. I loved your message (and the Healthy Faith Chats) Rachel. I find myself in similar situations when I try to tackle something on my own. When I turn to God for His help, He is there, ready and waiting. Great message and reminder that I need to hear often.

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  6. So much to love about this post Ms. Rachael. I’ve been blessed to participate in several #HealthyFaithChat sessions and have always walked away with a clearer understanding of God’s Word. It’s a great program and am so glad you, Pastor Kevin, David, Doug, and so many others help to facilitate those God-focused discussions. I can also appreciate how God will sometimes allow us to take ourselves to the 59th minute and 59th second before He gives us what we’ve asked for. I’m convinced it’s because we sometimes think that “We can do it ourselves. We are versed enough, mature enough, and skilled enough, we don’t need help.” Other times, we treat God like “the easy button” and expect Him to dispense His wisdom, knowledge, and understanding the instant we ask Him for it. What we fail to recognize is that we’re doing it and we’re not asking with a sincere heart. One that is focused on the problem WE need to solve and not the Problem Solver. I have to remind myself some days that, “He’s my Lord, not the ATM machine.” Loved this post and love you in Christ sweet friend. Thank you!

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  7. Good morning, Rachael, I hope my comment posted, but I couldn’t tell. So I’ll put something like it here.

    Sister Rachael, Thank you for your reminders of how we should depend upon our Lord. We do have to get to the brink of the Red Sea before He parts the waters, don’t we? Again thank you for instructing and inspiring me. Phyllis Clark Nichols

    >

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  8. Sister Rachael, You are such an inspiration — always pointing to the goodness of God. We have to get right to the brink of the Red Sea before it opens, don’t we? Much appreciation for how you serve and inspire us.

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  10. Great post Rachael. I no longer agree with the familiar comment that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.’ I believe He gives us more than we can handle so we don’t rely on our own efforts. It’s when we put our faith and trust in Him to provide what we can not, we grow the most.
    So, when our “can do, won’t do,” God can!

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