The Bible says, if any man thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall. What it doesn’t specify is that you’re stupid if you don’t wear flip flops when cleaning the shower, which I always do. Except for when I didn’t so I slipped and went, “kaboom!” in the cleaner called Kaboom. And then my shoulder went ka-pop, and our bank account went kaput.
Then I did the math. It’s actually cheaper to hire a maid to clean my entire house—(not just the bathroom), for a whole year than what my dislocated shoulder has cost so far. Talk about the short end of the mop. So, hi -ho-hi-ho, it’s off for another MRI and into debt I go! And then I get to clean the house. Maybe there’s something to be said for having dirt floors.
The moral of the story? Wear flip flops to clean the shower, or better yet—hire a maid!
Did I mention that I showed up in the ER wearing a tankini swimsuit top with no strap on my injured shoulder, thus giving the doctors perfect access to it. I’m sure he meant well, but then the young man looked into my pain glazed eyes as my arm dangled from my body and said, “We’re going to need you to put on this johnny.”
“No.” I said.
I should probably have kept my arm in the sling more often. I’m guessing around my waist doesn’t count. Although they just said to wear it—not where or how. Besides, it bothers my neck. Who designed these things anyway?
By the way, I’ve been in physical therapy since March for an inflamed nerve stemming at my neck and running down to my still numb pinky and ring finger on my right hand. Except I wasn’t allowed to do most of the exercises until they got the results back from my shoulder injury which took a few weeks. So now that I’ve lost all the momentum I gained in this dramatic interlude of my progress, it’s back to physical therapy. I have a slap tear they say. Speaking of which, I tore open one of the bills the other day, and can anyone explain the $89 charge for a sling I can buy online for $19.99 all day long? Makes me feel like…well—never mind. I will hold my tongue. (See? Miracles do happen.) At least it looks like I’ve sidestepped surgery. I suppose I should call and set up my appointments, but I’d really rather go to the beach, or sit on my porch and write.
So, long story short, my right side is all wrong and the girl leading the #HealthyFaith chats on miracles needs a miracle. The good news is, I already possess the greatest miracle of all, salvation and a personal relationship with Jesus. I’m no fair weather Christian, He is with me, helps me through it all. He will be there and help you too if you just ask Him.
“Lord, how about it? Can you please heal me? And not just so I can be healed, but because I really want to testify for You. Love You Lord and—hallelujah anyhow.”
Jesus You are the storm stiller
But You call me to be a wave walker
You teach my hands to war
Come what may, Lord
By Your grace
This dust shall praise Your name
I will praise You in the calm
Praise You in the storm
Come what may
This dust shall praise your name, Oh Lord
©2018 Rachael M Colby Tattoo It On Your Heart