Finding My Voice, Seeing God’s Hand

 

January 21st, 2017

I needed to mail a document to Pastor and author Michael Duncan, one of my interviewees from my Pastor Appreciation Month series. I decided to use the opportunity to share some of my writing with him and his wife. As I packaged my selections, I pondered the words of my poem, Finding My Voice, one of the pieces I chose to send. Here it is:

Finding My Voice

I looked in the mirror and found my voice.

This is my voice:

It’s me becoming broken.

It’s me bleeding all over the pages.

Can’t you see my words are borne on tears?

Do you think I borrowed my words, the words God gave me?

Did you think they came cheap?

No, they are costly, because this world has a way of banging up a human heart;

But that’s OK because Jesus has a way of restoring it.

Welcome to my life. Welcome to my vulnerability.

This is raw; this is live.

Welcome to my funeral and resurrection.

You are invited to watch me die, and live again in Christ.

                           ~~~*~~~

 

As I pondered the words in my poem, they evoked new revelation, and I responded with this:

 

I must be careful of what I write.

It’s often truer than I know.

These prophesies, my story, like a scroll slowly unrolled.

One step, one day, one prayer, at a time, revealing.

“Dear Lord; I’m frightened.

Hold me.

I will rest, trust in You.

Thy will, Lord. Have your way in me.”

 

Afterward, I felt I should go and check the dates of when I wrote and posted Finding My Voice, originally a response to New York Times bestselling author, Jerry Jenkins, on his blog. I was able to track the dates through my emails about his classes and by his blog posts. Look:

 

   Rachael M Colby • a year ago    (January 2016)                                                                                        

Are you there Jerry? Can you hear me?

Finding My Voice 

I looked in the mirror and found my voice…

 

And I may as well go for it and post this here too;)

The Why of Why I Write

Why do I breathe?

Inhale…   

 

Jerry responded to my comment above on January 17th, 2016 on his blog post,

Tone in Writing and Your Unique Voice

                                                                                                                                                                             

Jerry B Jenkins ➝ ⃕Rachael M Colby • a year ago

I’m here, Rachael, and I think you’re going to be very interested in the announcement we’re making tomorrow–as well as the free webinar I’m hosting Thursday. It would be good to have you join us.

                                    ~~~*~~~

Jerry encourages writers to join a local writer’s group, preferably one led by a published author. So, I called my local library and asked if they had such a group. “Yes,” the librarian said. “We have one hosted by local published author, Jack Sheedy.”

The first meeting of the newly formed writer’s group was on Thursday January 21st, 2016, the night the webinar Jerry spoke of aired. Desperate to not miss anything, I watched Jerry’s webinar with one earbud in as I attended my first writer’s group. I read Finding My Voice, and The Why of Why I Write, to the group, and decided to join Jerry’s guild that night. I wrote my response to Finding my Voice, one year to the day later, the anniversary of my deciding to stop hiding, commit to writing, and place myself under the leadership of writers who could guide me on my journey.

Jesus is a master weaver. He is the lover of my soul and He remembers our anniversaries. I am honored to write for Him. 🙂