Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10 NLT
Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor’s wife?
I’ve always had a burden for others so when I became a pastor’s wife, it made sense to me. –Donna
For me it wasn’t a calling so much as a surrender of my plans to whatever God would want us to do. I had my own agenda but God had better idea. -Kerry, CFM
If you could tell your church anything about yourself, your family, or anything else what would it be? What’s on your heart?
We love you. We support you. We need you to support the church. We need you to attend faithfully. We need you to give faithfully. We need you to use your talents faithfully. –Rosemarie, small rural Assemblies of God church.
That we love them. A lot. Vika Aaltonen, Missionary Wife, The Door, CFM, Helsinki, Finland.
What are some duties you perform for the church on a regular basis that your congregation may not be aware of?
Cleaning, nursery duties. Help with books and paying bills. Overseeing things, making sure people have what they need. -Lori Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA
What is your biggest challenge pastoring?
Being compared to other pastors’ wives. Trying to put aside the frustration of your physical limitations as you age and people expect you to be able to respond as you did when you were 30 years younger. Linda Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA
What most breaks your heart?
People who are just there for themselves and don’t do anything. -Sarah Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich MA
When you’re not seeing what you want to see in ministry. -Lori Ganiear
When I see someone backsliding. –Chantry labelle, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod.
Do you ever want to quit?
Yes and no. -Donna
Absolutely! You say it to yourself to make yourself feel better, but you can’t (quit). -Lori Ganiear
What keeps you going?
New believers, helping hurting people. –Rosemarie
Jesus. Love and prayer. -Donna.
Knowing that the Lord upholds me. –Chantry Labelle
I do everything as unto the Lord. That enables me to endure what I need to as a pastor’s wife. -Lori Ganiear
What most encourages you?
Finding friends. Praise. -Donna
Seeing growth in those who are part of the congregation, watching children and families excited about their life in Christ and about sharing that truth with others. –Rosemarie
Scripture, my husband and friends. –Chantry Labelle
One of the children we used to pick up for church when we were missionaries in Trinidad called twenty years later to thank me. -Alejandra Williams, Victory chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA
The change in people’s lives. -Sarah Hanlon
Who inspires you?
Pastor Mitchell, (of Potter’s hose CFM, Prescott, Arizona.) -Kerry, CFM
I have a small accountability women’s group. The relationships there help me in my personal Christian walk. -Sarah Hanlon
People in our congregation who work 40+ hours a week, have families and commitments, yet still come and give of time in church. Bible studies and outreach. –Rosemarie
I have respect for seasoned pastor’s wives who have gone before me. -Lori Ganiear
Are you ever lonely? If so, how do you counter it?
Our Assemblies of God district has an amazing group of ladies and they work so hard to keep a connection. –Rosemarie
It can be lonely at times, but you do get close to your spouse and you have to get close to God. -Lori Ganiear
What kind of challenges do you face as a Pastor’s wife raising Preacher’s Kids?
Life in the fishbowl. Sarah Hanlon
The assumptions and expectations of others. -Donna
I think the same as everyone else. I want to hold them to the same standards even if we are not pastoring since the goal is to have God-loving, God-fearing children. That’s why we have standards, right? Not because of the position of ministry. Vika Aaltonen
Making sure our children never resent the ministry. Making sure we keep our focus on our family when it needs to be. Trying to keep the church business at the church. –Rosemarie
What is the hardest thing about being a Pastor’s wife?
It is hard to feel like part of the church as you don’t exactly have a pastor and you can’t exactly fit. -Donna
Glass bubble syndrome and compassion fatigue. –Rosemarie, Pastor’s wife, small rural Assemblies of God church.
When someone in the church says something hateful or is disgruntled about the ministry or my husband. –Chantry Labelle
When people use it as an insult. “Well,” people will say, “for a pastor’s wife, she should know better.” when my actions don’t line up with their preconceived notions, or if I act like an actual human, On the flip side, I have had close family members accuse me of trying to be holier now, in a disingenuous way because, “You’re a pastor’s wife now.” – Anonymous
When people leave the church after you invest years in them and they leave without even a phone all and don’t even return your calls. -Mary Webb, Church 180 CFM, Missasagua, Canada
Do you have someone you can talk to for counsel, direction, encouragement, prayer, someone you can be really open with? What about friends?
Yes. My husband and a few close friends. –Chantry Labelle
My pastor. Other pastors and wives. -Alejandra Williams
How do you keep your heart and zeal for people and God, in spite of people’s failings and some turning against you?
Keeping focus on those who are growing and learning and sharing. –Rosemarie
All we can take to Heaven is people. Investing everything in people is worthwhile. The works of God will outlive us. I just have to do my part. We have to have an eternal perspective because in this life, we may not see everything you are hoping for. -Lori Ganiear
What are some things your church could do to lighten your load or refresh you and your family, so you can better serve God and them?
Take more initiative to grow and feed themselves, Take more initiative to be involved in ministry. –Rosemarie
Participate more in church activities. Vika Aaltonen
Pray for my family and show hospitality to our visitors and each other. –Chantry Labelle
Be nice to your pastor and his wife. Give them cards for birthdays, pastor appreciation, and Christmas- and not just empty cards! Find out where they like to eat, give gift cards for groceries or gas. -Anonymous.
Pray. Doing practical things to help like cleaning. Pastors and wives and get in a grind and need to get away sometimes and be refreshed. Everyone does. -Lori Ganiear
For the Church to love people who come through the door. If everyone is where they need to be then the load is lighter. -Alejandra Williams
What do you see as the biggest threat to the Church today, not your church specifically?
Lack of prayer. -Kerry
Complacency. Lack of commitment. Busyness. –Rosemarie
The ungodly influence of the world on our children. –Chantry Labelle
Worldliness. Me, me, me, consumerism mentality. Vika Aaltonen
People won’t stand for Christ. You will be deceived if you don’t stand. People addicted to drama. They have an ankle deep relationship with God. -Lori Ganiear
What do you think is the reason for the worldly Church? Ignorance or compromise?
Both. Biblical ignorance and they’re afraid to speak up; they’ve watered down the Gospel. -Sarah Hanlon
What do you believe is the key to revival?
Personal heart change. –Rosemarie
The Holy Spirit’s work in our own hearts. –Chantry Labelle
Personal revival and in families can jump to others. The church becoming desperate and coming together and praying for revival. –Vika Aaltonen
People need to fall in love with Jesus. -Lori Ganiear
What is a favorite memory of pastoring?
I count it a privilege when people trust you and you can get a phone call at any time, good or bad. One morning a sister from the church who was in line for adopting called to say there was a 2 year old boy at the hospital waiting for a new family. Our family stopped what we were doing, went to the store and bought them a car seat, diapers, food. I love playing my small role and witnessing how God answers prayers. –Vika Aaltonen
What is the funniest or craziest encounter, situation you’ve experienced during your ministry that you are free to share?
Getting lice from one of the children we picked up for church. But it was worth it. They are still serving God today. -Alejandra Williams
When we pastored in Lithuania, a young guy came and sat in the row in front of me. He was fine until the preaching part. He kept turning and asking if I liked the church, smirking and making comments saying how the pastor was wrong. I kept thinking, if only you knew that was my husband preaching. Finally, I got up and hid in the nursery. I thought it funny that out of all the people, he picked me to dump on. –Vika Aaltonen
What is your favorite thing about being a Pastor’s wife?
Praying for people and the presence of God falls on them. -Alejandra Williams
Seeing God change someone, when they get it and God creates this beautiful creature out of them and they go on to the destiny God has for them. -Mary Webb
Seeing God change people’s lives and they are blessed and go on to do the will of God. -Lori Ganiear
Loving people. –Rosemarie
Being married to my husband. -Kerry
The Pastor. -Donna
(Great answer, Kerry and Donna! 😉 )
*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.
**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/