I hate commitment. It’s terrifying! Failure to keep a commitment devastates me, no matter how small. So, I shy away from it. I procrastinated all day about accepting author and writing coach Jeff Goins’s 30 day #My500Words writing challenge because I figured if I waited long enough, it would be too late to commit and then I couldn’t fail. One way to avoid failure is to not commit—just don’t take the risk. Right? Wrong.
The Bible admonishes us to count the cost, to consider if we are able to complete a task before we begin and to let our yea be yea and our nay be nay. We should have reverence for commitment, but there’s a difference between responsibly considering decisions and living in neutral. Neutral often slides into reverse motion
You can choose to live a reactive or proactive life. God calls us to action and faithful stewardship of our talents and abilities. Passivity is an action. We are responsible for the results of our indecision. We either pursue God and His call for our lives or neglect it. Inaction is an action; indecision is a decision. No risk, no gain. Guaranteed.
In an effort to feel more secure and protect myself from failure, I wrote my first 500 words before typing, “I’m in,” and accepting the challenge—at the last minute. So how did I do? I failed. I missed three days and many days I fell short of the 500 words, but on others, I exceeded it. There is a difference between failing at something and being a failure. Failing doesn’t necessarily identify you as a failure. It could just mean you tried and as Thomas Edison said, figured out many ways how not to do something, which is often the route to finally achieving a goal or overcoming an obstacle.
So, what really is the battle here? Am I afraid of commitment, or failure? Or am I just a control freak? The answer is yes. I like the sure thing. It’s not a risk if I know the outcome, can do it in my own strength, or don’t need a miracle. But if I stay in my comfort zone, I don’t need faith and if I don’t reach beyond my own abilities, I miss the chance to see God work with me, through me, and move on my behalf. My mess yielded to Jesus is a chance for God’s miracles. My obstacles are God’s opportunities.
I’m often hard on myself when I feel I’ve let myself, others, and most importantly, God, down. Even though I want and need input to grow, sometimes it’s hard to receive criticism from others because I’ve done such a good job of beating myself up. That’s an issue with Grace. God says in His Word that His mercies are new every morning.
Let your trials and failures refine you and let God define you.
Sometimes it’s the process of the struggle that builds the strength to accomplish the task. The only real failures are those who do nothing or quit at their calling.
Sometimes what we think of as failure is God’s strength and endurance training, equipping us to help others.
Sometimes that good thing for us is failure, or setback, or discipline, or faith stretched until the midnight hour—and then the victory. Pray; wait on God, and when He says it’s time to move—move.
When I depend on myself and my own abilities I fall short. The only sure thing is the Gospel. The only guarantee of success is to obey God and hitch our hearts, our hope, our destiny and eternity on Jesus. What matters is not my own or the world’s definition of success or failure, but God’s. God defines us by our identity with Him. I am His.
If God is asking you for something you can’t do then it’s God’s turn to do whatever it takes to accomplish His will and destiny for your life. — Pastor Chip Ganiear
And all that really matters is the will of God.
I’m going to fail sometimes. You’re going to fail sometimes. We will lose some battles, but I read the end of the story, and those who walk with Jesus win the war.
Pray. Persist. Prevail.
“I AM THAT I AM” beats “it is what it is” every time. — Pastor Chip Ganiear
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37 (NKJV)
We were made for Christ, to follow Him, to obey His
Word and calling, to lean on His strength and grow in His grace.
He has called me to write for Him, and so, I write.
3rd place 2019 Tar Heel Award, North Carolina Christian Writers Conference
SONG: Carrollton- Made for This
© 2018, 2019 Rachael M Colby Tattoo It On Your Heart
12 thoughts on “I Hate Commitment, (or is it Failure I Fear)”
Rachel, your post convicted me. I wrote down your quote, “We are responsible for the results of our indecision,” and posted it on my computer monitor. I often feel like the queen of indecision. I needed to read this post. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
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You are so welcome, Callie. Thank you for reading. Rest assured, I need to re-read my post often too. God bless you on your writing journey. 🙂
This post is both convicting and encouraging. I need to depend on God. As you mentioned, this is His call on my life so I have to remember, He will do the work, so He’ll get the glory.
The statement about being in nuetral is actually moving backward…wow, that’s powerful!! Thanks for urging me to read this post!!
Thank you for reading. God bless you. Now, write on. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this, Rachael, and urging me to come read it! It’s so rich. I’m definitely going to have to come back to this again and again. As always, thank you for your encouragement!
You are welcome, Melissa, and thank you for yours.
“Neutral often slides into reverse motion. You can choose to live a reactive or proactive life. God calls us to action and faithful stewardship of our talents and abilities. Passivity is an action. We are responsible for the results of our indecision. We either pursue God and His call for our lives or neglect it. Inaction is an action; indecision is a decision. No risk, no gain. Guaranteed.” Thank you for the wake-up call, Rachael. I realize now that I’ve been living in neutral for a very long time. And I’ve recently come to realize it’s been for fear of failure. If I try to live out my calling and I fail, then will I discover that my call wasn’t really God’s call on my life? What if, through failure, God shows me it’s time to give up my calling? And the fact that this thought scares me implies so many more questions and character flaws. I’m not ready to deal with those, even though I believe this is part of God’s calling, too. Deal with the flaws. Find the answers to those questions. The only way to do this is to NOT let myself slide into neutral. Thanks again for the nudge.
So happy you found something here to take with you, Toni. Isn’t it good to know that all Jesus asks of us is to love and obey Him. And He gives us His enabling grace for it all. The results are up to him. Carry on; rest in Him.
When you talked about being passive, I thought of the servant who received his master’s money, but instead of being proactive like his fellows, he buried it in the ground. The Lord used this story to teach us: To those who have, more will be given, and they shall have an abundance. But to those who do not have, even what they have will be taken away. It’s a good day to be proactive!
Amen Thomas. The link in my post before the word proactive takes you to that story in the Bible.
Wow. That’s convicting, Rachael. “It’s not a risk if I know the outcome, or don’t need a miracle, or if I can do it in my own strength, or have all the answers up front. But if I don’t reach beyond my own abilities, I will miss the chance to see God work with me, through me and move on my behalf. My mess yielded to Jesus is a chance for God’s miracles.” This is too long for a tattoo on my forehead. 😉Going to try to remember my mess is a chance for God’s miracles. Water to wine, right?
Yes. 🙂 ❤