I remember Daddy holding my hand as we entered the gates to the botanical gardens, Wrigley’s gum, Elephant Ear pastries, Matchbox cars, him carrying me when I was hurt and scraping every speck of black pepper off my food. And bumper cars. I hated them, but I never told him, because I liked to hear him laugh- and we were together. He was pale and shaky after riding the corkscrew roller coaster. We made kites with bamboo and tissue paper. They always crashed, but that was okay. I remember driving too fast in his little ultramarine Triumph Spitfire.
“You gave her the tie dye set. You get her cleaned up!” said Grandma as she pushed us outside. A bucket of soapy water, a scrub brush and our stifled laughter under the mango tree. Pinned to the clothesline, my brightly colored creation flapped happily in the breeze. I loved that hat!
He gave me a piano, like Schroeder’s in the Peanuts comic strip. I played it as loud as I could, because I thought it would make him visit sooner.
I pretended I didn’t know him when he took me to Disney World. Fearing someone might recognize us, I walked several feet ahead, or behind, because I thought his camera bag looked like a purse. Tears coursed down my cheeks when he wouldn’t let me run off for the day with the boy I met at the resort. All the boys were afraid of my daddy.
He was a businessman. He laughingly called me his “rapacious little capitalist” for running my underground fudge business at school. I made over $1000 dollars before they caught me. We were proud of the “F” I received for my class presentation on a controversial topic. I did a good job on it; I stood for what I believed. When I ran away, he followed me.
Daddy had his problems, but he loved his children and grandchildren. Sometimes he missed the mark. We all do, some more than others. But God will use imperfect fathers, imperfect people, to guide our lives sometimes, if we let Him.
Then, one day he was gone. Just. Like. That. No warning. I didn’t know that was our last “I love you.” I wasn’t ready. But God is the one who numbers our days; He said it was time. We have a finite amount of time to love, to know, to understand and reconcile with each other. He wasn’t a perfect father. None of them are, you know? Except for one.
God is the only perfect father. He is a father to the fatherless. Jesus went to great lengths to meet us where we are. He left his throne in Heaven, donned human flesh, and died to save us from our sin, and reconcile us to Himself. He loves us in spite of ourselves. But we have to accept Him.
“Daugh-tah, come here. Child of mine. I love you so much, yuh see.” my father would say in his accent. God calls me daughter too, he calls me to himself. He wants to call you son or daughter too. God wants to do life with us. And when people fall short of our expectations, and our needs aren’t met, God is always there for us. He is our sufficiency, the difference maker. He is enough.
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26 NLT
But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12 NLT
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15 NLT
Father, daughter, son, is there a breach that needs mending? Will you start the journey to restoration? Just take one small step. May I suggest the first one be to pray; and the second, forgive? Maybe you won’t get where you’d like to on this side of eternity. Maybe you are only able to take those first two steps. That’s okay. Just start, and let God be God, the mender of hearts. Extend grace, like God does for us, even though we don’t deserve it. Step.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 NKJV
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NLT
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22 NLT
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV
The Blessing – Jim Trick
Dads- your children, your wives, your country needs you. Will you step up to the plate?
“Here I am Father. Forgive me. Help me to step in Your footprints, and walk a little closer with You Jesus.”
Lead Me – Sanctus Real
Yeah, you are probably going to mess up sometimes, stumble and fall in the process. But God will pick you up. He’s like that.
Good Good Father – Chris Tomlin
© 2016 Rachael M Colby | Tattoo It On Your Heart
8 thoughts on “In Step With My Father”
I must say this is absolutely beautiful! Sure does remind me of my Dad too. Keep up the awesome work Rachael.
Love Rita 🙂
Great post Rachel about fathers!brings back many memories of my dad, me holding the flashlight, him working on the car to this day I know how to check oil and fluid levels even though I don’t have to! most of all reminds me of the example that my father was for me and the reason why I’m a Christian today. I thank God for my father and his father and my Godly father and the father that my husband is. without God and His example in his word I would have nothing and would be nothing. amen!
Amen.Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Beautiful. It is a pleasure knowing you, friend.
That’s high praise coming from Super Woman!;) Thank you, and praise God. We are blessed to have you as a new friend and fellow writer. You have an amazing site at https://morethantheancients.com/
Your story deeply touches me… And I love, “He is our sufficiency, the difference maker.” Something to tattoo on my heart…
You know those times when you squeeze your eyes shut, say a prayer and hit post? Then you feel like you are holding your breath until someone responds, because you don’t know what to expect. And its past 4am. Well this was one of those times. Tough one to write. Thank you, and praise God and amen. 🙂 Your last post at http://lookupsometimes.com/you-are-loved-fathers-day-weekend/ was powerful.
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I am so there with you, Rachael! Every time! I enjoy your writing; keep on, sister! 🙂 And thank you so much! That means a lot.