Author: Rachael M. Colby

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Romans 8:35 NKJV

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37- 39 NKJV

Did you think when you became a Christian you would be a pastor’s wife one day?

It did not cross our minds at the time, but it didn’t take long to feel like it was our calling.

Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a pastor’s wife?  

Actually, before we got saved I spent some time in a women’s maximum security prison. There I would have dreams of my husband preaching under a big white tent. So when we got saved, it all started to make sense.

What kind of challenges do you face as a pastor’s wife raising Preacher’s Kids?

I think the same challenges as any Christian, except everything they do is magnified. So, raising kids who understand why we do what we do. Always reassuring them that being a servant is worth it.

What is the hardest thing about being a Pastor’s wife?

In our first church, I was always under the critical looking glass. As we pastored our other churches that hasn’t been an issue.

What has been the most unexpected benefit to pastoring?

Being a missionary.

Are you ever lonely?

All the time. The language barrier of difficult for me. My husband is fluent and I am not so I do feel left out. I battle it by being in prayer.

Who inspires you?

My pastor. I don’t have a pastor’s wife, she died of cancer yet he still prays for the sick and believes in the power of healing. That speaks volumes.

Do you ever want to quit?

No, we understand that Jesus warned us of violations and persecutions; it comes with the job.

Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 NKJV

How do you keep your heart and zeal for people and God, in spite of people’s failings and some turning against you?

We serve God for who He is not what He can do for us. That’s enough. 

Can I share a very personal experience?  

When we pastored our first church, I was raped by a disciple, a 19 year old boy who we took in under our wing. He was an orphan and struggling teen, a two time offender, but we thought he had changed. It was so traumatizing, it took us out of ministry for two years. I couldn’t understand how something like that could happen. I didn’t trust people and I didn’t want to open my life up. It tested my marriage. It tested my faith.

It took a real miracle to bring me to the point where I realized that we will be violated and persecuted as we serve God, and for me to love Jesus enough to open my heart and trust again.

To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:3 NKJV

Just want to say that Jesus is worth serving no matter what tribulations we go through. God has totally restored my heart. I love people and trust again and He is doing amazing things in our ministry now. 

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 (KJV)

What is your favorite thing about being a Pastor/ Pastor’s wife?

Helping people make it into their destiny. –Stephanie Delcid, Missionary Wife, The Potter’s House CFM, Cuenca, Ecuador

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again -Danny Gokey (a story & a song)

© 2016 Rachael M Colby

I have heard people say “The pastor has it so easy; he doesn’t have to go to work. What does he do all day? All he has to do is write a few sermons a week.” So, the following few questions are aimed at setting the record straight. What does a day in your life as a pastor look like?

It’s not routine. I like that it’s it’s different all the time. For example this week I spent 30 hours painting the church. There’s counseling, church council meetings,  staff meetings. I do maintenance there’s no full-time janitor here so I do the dump runs.

The apostle Paul said he worked harder than all so as not to be a burden to the church. To be a part of the body is to serve and I should be the first to do this.-Pastor Bruce Hanlon, Forrestdale Baptist Church, Forrestdale MA

There is no way of quantifying the day in any particular structure. It is such a fluid situation. Some days I can take the day and press through my studies without interruption. Most days, however, it never happens so easy. As the pastor of a small church, I am called upon by my congregation for everything from marital counseling to plumbing. It’s not a 40-hour/week situation. Much of my time in the evenings is taken up by meetings, planning sessions, hospital visits, seminars, conferences, emergencies. I teach multiple Bible studies as well as services on Sunday. So a “day-in-the-life” of this pastor is often different every day. For instance, yesterday I spent several hours in the morning with a church member and then returned home to study. Today, I spent my morning studying, counseling, working on this questionnaire, and tonight I will be out of town with another member of my church. I’m usually up by 6:30am to have morning coffee and devotions with my wife before she goes off to work (she’s a school teacher) and I’m finally in bed around 1am. Besides all that, I am also a published author and am working on several other manuscripts. –Pastor Michael Duncan Author, Speaker, Pastor. Mountain View Baptist Church, Darrington WA

I wake up at 4 AM, spend 1-2 hours in private devotions (Bible reading, prayer, meditation). After breakfast and family worship (Bible reading, prayer, singing), I get to the office between 8 and 9 AM. Unless I go out for an appointment, visit, or counseling, I am at my desk working until I leave for home at 4:30. My work involves studying for my weekly sermons and teachings as well as my bi-weekly and monthly teachings; writing sermons, sermon outlines for the congregation, and Sunday School or Bible Study lessons for the people to use as I teach, responding to and sending emails; answering the church phone; calling on people in the church in need of various kinds of ministry; pursuing outreach and evangelism opportunities; and, when I can make the time, working on my writing projects (I’m researching for my 4th book now). Also, by God’s grace, I just completed my doctorate, graduating with a Doctor of Divinity degree in Puritan Studies. -Pastor James Labelle, author, Pastor, Presbyterian Church of Cape Cod

No two days are alike. Besides the obvious personal responsibilities and time set aside for message preparation, personal prayer, etc., there are numerous other things that can arise at any moment.

Some days the phone rings constantly with calls from people requesting advice, counselling, prayer, and on occasion help in an emergency situation.

Then there are many other things will that occur on various days of the month. Involvement in community affairs. Fellowship meetings with other  ministers. Home visitations, checking in on people in the hospital, nursing home, etc.. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

Pastoring is more than preaching. Pastors have to care for people; it’s meeting whatever needs you can: visits, counseling, praying for deliverance, work crews to fix houses. Training people for ministry- my job is to work myself out of a job.  -Pastor Greg Winslow, Missionary to Zihuatanejo, Mexico

On average how much time does it take you to put together a sermon, including research, study, etc.?

On average, it takes about 20 – 30 hours a week. –Pastor Michael Duncan

4-5 hours, but it’s never really finished until it’s preached.-Pastor Roger Williams, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod

5-6 hours when I was younger, now it takes days, I go back and proof and add things. The burden of needs and to be an oracle for God is a tremendous responsibility. I need Him to show me needs and speak what He wants me to say. I need a burning ember, the rhema of God. It takes travail for that. -Pastor Paul Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

15-20 hours a week. It’s all interconnected, reading, praying, reading my Bible. I’m always thinking this would be a good sermon, or minister to this person and then I will pray for them right then. – Pastor Bruce Hanlon

The average sermon usually takes me 12-15 hours, initially, to prepare. But when I revisit it on Saturday (since I usually finish it on Tuesday), I will spend another 4-5 hours working and praying through it on Saturday and Sunday morning before preaching it. –Pastor James La Belle

5 minutes – 7 days! – Pastor Greg Winslow

I am answering this question as a pastor’s wife. We have been pastoring for 15 years. He is currently a working pastor because the church cannot afford his salary. I’ve witnessed many times my husband on his knees crying out to God for souls. There have been countless nights that I woken up at three in the morning and my husband is not in bed because he is praying.  We have learned as a family to give him quiet time when he is writing sermons usually Tuesdays and Thursday nights. I have seen him searching the computer for illustrations,  digging through commentaries, searching the Scriptures as he puts together a sermon. I have seen him spend an average of 3-5 hours on one sermon. Sometimes he’ll leave in the middle of one to go for a walk, or drive or simply to pray. Because  we have three church services a week, between preaching, praying, and sermon writing my husband spends a little over 20 hours a week just on sermons alone.  Never mind the countless hours of his own Bible reading and praying before God, phone calls, and Counseling sessions.

My father-in-law and brother-in-law granted us a large sum of money to buy a home. Overwhelmed by their generosity,  my husband and I asked why are you doing this? To which they replied, “We have seen your sacrifices.” I burst out crying because even when others don’t see our sacrifices, God does, and it’s in those moments that He uses others to let us know.  So when someone thinks we’re just sitting around the house all day because all we do is pastor a church,I leave it in God’s hands. –Ruthanne Laine, Pastor’s Wife, Victory chapel, Dover NH

Quite honestly, I don’t think it would be possible to provide an average time. Each message is different. Some fall into place in a matter of hours. Others can take days or weeks to prepare. There have been times I’ve spent 4 or 5 days preparing a message, then the night before the service I’ll reread  my notes and realize it’s lacking something. On many occasions I’ve stayed up nearly all night on a Saturday reworking a message for that very reason. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

As a pastor, it usually took about 40 hours per week of prep time. I had three sermons per week to prepare, plus funeral, wedding, and special event messages. -George W. Nichols, Ph.D., Pastor, missions worker, author, artist

How much time do you spend in personal Bible study, prayer, reading, a day?

I always tried to spend at least 10% of my waking hours in personal study and prayer. Now I spend about about the same, 3 hours per day. -Dr. George W. Nichols, Ph.D.

It often depends on the day. But, on average, it’s about 3-5 hours a day. –Pastor Michael Duncan

3 hrs. -Pastor Roger Williams

About an hour and a half. -Pastor Greg Winslow

Prayer, at least an hour of concentrated time. But also throughout the day I am constantly talking with the Lord or praying in tongues.

Bible study, other than what is required for message preparation also varies. But I do spend at least 2 hours in the Word daily

Then there’s something I started doing a couple years ago that’s been very beneficial. Listening to the Bible on DVD while I’m sleeping. It helps me to enjoy a peaceful night’s rest and wake up feeling spiritually energized.  -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

What are some duties you perform for the church on a regular basis that your congregation may not be aware of?

Perhaps the simple things, such as making sure the tables are all set up for fellowship meals or making sure the heat is on in the building go unnoticed. But, what does that matter? I don’t serve to get noticed but to make Jesus known. –Pastor Michael Duncan

Cleaning . nursery duties. Help with books and paying bills. Overseeing things, making sure people have what they need. -Lori Ganiear

It is varied. This week, I need to correspond with a lawyer in terms of setting up structure of how our church functions with planting churches. -Pastor Chip Ganiear, Victory chapel CFM, Cape Cod

Fixing electrical equipment, setting up before concerts, events. Visiting the hospital. –Pastor Roger Williams

Administration duties, prep, cooking for special events. It takes us four days to set everything up so it’s taken care of before we go out of town. everything has to be planned in advance. –Pastor Paul Campo

What are some things your church could do to lighten your load or refresh you and your family, so you can better serve God and them?

My church is so supportive of me and my family. I am grateful to the Lord for their care and love. I think it would help if I had an associate pastor to help with the ministry; and I pray that the Lord will provide him when I’m ready. -Pastor La Belle

Be a part of the church. for example, hospitality teams. I’m not spending hours setting up and cleaning up after an event. Everybody needs to be involved. -Anonymous

What would refresh me is involvement. When the church begins to function as the LORD purposes, there is not load too heavy or burden so great that it cannot be borne by all. I want to see participation – share the love of Christ, attend the services on a regular basis, connect with someone new and tell them the good news of Jesus. I would be most encouraged when I see a member of the church bringing others to faith in Christ. –Pastor Michael Duncan

Be present. Have a willingness to serve, bring new people to church. When everyone works together like an orchestra, we get a lot more done. -Pastor Paul Campo

Help follow up, help outreach. -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid

What is the hardest part of being a pastor?

When people don’t grasp the destiny and potential they can have if they stay serving God.  -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid

What is your biggest challenge pastoring?

Getting people to catch the vision. -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid

To get ahold of God and get a vision for this last generation. trying to become all God wants me to be personally. You need to have discipline and inspiration and the hand of God if you are going to make it as a pastor, or are you going to come up empty and reach burn out. You must have a heart for the people and for the ministry because you’re certainly not in it for the money. –Pastor Roger Williams

What kind of challenges do you face raising Preacher’s Kids?

The fish bowl. Your kids are expected to be to be perfect, they are not allowed to fail and succeed. How much is too much and how much is not enough? How much do you force on your children/let them make their own decisions? -Pastor Bruce and Sarah Hanlon

What has been the most unexpected benefit to pastoring?

The depths of extraordinary sorrow and the heights of remarkable joy, these have been unexpected benefits. –Pastor Michael Duncan

Learning from others. Sometimes even the youngest of Christians have spoken such profound wisdom that it makes me wonder why I hadn’t thought about or considered those things before. It’s a blessing being around people whose hearts are aflame with passion for the Lord and His Word. I can’t begin to express the gratitude I feel for how being around God’s people has enriched my life. It’s given me the ability to look beyond my own little world and forced me to consider others in a whole new light.-Pastor, Transformation Ministries

What has been the most unexpected hardship to Pastoring?

Violations from people who we gave everything to and for. -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid

What is your favorite memory of pastoring?

The thing that stands out is when  things didn’t work out pioneering a new church.We were moving back to a church I was unfamiliar with to a new state. My brain was short circuiting. I was beside myself with all the upheaval. I remember going down by the river, a spot I’d go to sometimes to pray and just throwing it all out there at God. And somehow God just grabbed the reins of my mind and emotions and showed me He was right there with me. God told me that this was right where I needed to be. “It’s not over, it’s just the next step. I’ve got you covered.” It’s one of these reference points where God just says, “Calm down; I’ve got this.” -Pastor Chip Ganiear

Seeing the people “get it.” My greatest joy is seeing the people meet Jesus in the preaching of His Word. They come to church hungry, and when they get filled by the preaching of the Word, my heart is overjoyed. -Pastor James Labelle

Perhaps my favorite memory (and there are so many) is when a young man came up to me and told me that he was going to speak the truth in court because of what he heard me preach. He trusted the LORD that day and repented of his crimes, and then threw himself into the merciful arms of Jesus—trusting that only by telling the truth would God intervene in his situation. –Pastor Michael Duncan   

What is the funniest or craziest encounter, situation you’ve experienced during your ministry that you are free to share?

We were having revival and the Spirit was moving tremendously. People were getting healed instantly and the whole church was abounding with joy and praise. All of a sudden it felt like the floor of the church was floating. Many of the members thought it was a move of the Holy Ghost. I discovered the next day while watching the news, an earth tremor had affected our area the night before. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

When a man came into my office, set his gun down and told me that he was going to kill every pastor he meets. After talking with him for some time, we prayed together and he, in tearful repentance, walked out of my office and promised to return home and seek the help of Godly men in his community. –Pastor Michael Duncan

© 2016 Rachael M Colby

Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

Founded in 2010, Energize Ministries provides encouragement, refreshment, and recreational opportunities for pastors and ministry leaders and their families. Additionally, they spread awareness among churchgoers about the need to be intentional in supporting, encouraging and praying for their spiritual leaders.  Learn more about how to support and encourage your pastor at energizeministries.com

Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

Thy Will be Done -Hilary Scott

What most breaks your heart?

When the Church doesn’t love and back bites each other. When they do wrong- prodigal sons.-Pastor Greg Winslow, Missionary to Zihuatanejo, Mexico

When I do what I know, and have told others so many times, is wrong. -Pastor James La Belle, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod MA

O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Romans 7:24 NKJV 

 Knowing what people are really like, not what they portray. -Pastor Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

Stagnancy. People who are just there for themselves and don’t do anything. People that know, but don’t do.  –Pastor Bruce and Sarah Hanlon

Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:17 NKJV

When people walk away from Jesus and His church is what breaks my heart the most. –Pastor Michael Duncan

When people walk away from destiny. -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid.

Seeing people walk away from the faith. Knowing I’ve made every attempt to reach out to them, only to be met with rejection and rebellion. Then witnessing their downfall as they gradually and methodically slip deeper and deeper into an ungodly lifestyle. -Pastor Transformation Ministries

When you have no words to console someone who has lost a loved one. When someone passes into eternity without salvation. But I’m  comforted when someone is saved. -Pastor Roger and Allejandra Williams

Do you ever want to quit?

Yes… many times I have thought about quitting. –Pastor Michael Duncan

If we had 10 cents for every time we wanted to quit we’d be billionaires. -Pastor Greg Winslow

God always talks us out of it. -Pastor Paul Campo

For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.     1 Corinthians 9:16 (NASB)

Absolutely not! There are times when things can seem overwhelming or frustrating. To deny that would be wrong. But, wanting to quit isn’t something I’ve ever struggled with, or viewed as an option. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

Absolutely not. There’s nothing in the world I would rather do. When the Lord calls you, He gives you a heart for the calling and a heart for the people and work to which He’s called you. I’ll gladly die in the Lord’s service. -Pastor James La Belle.

No, I never wanted to quit. The Bible is filled with men who accomplished what God called them to do. My reward is to serve, to tell someone about Jesus. -Pastor Roger Williams, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod

What keeps you going?

We serve God for who He is not what He can do for us, everything else is just an extra blessing. -Pastor Raul and Stephanie Delcid

Keeping focused on God, not ourselves. Knowing our work for the Lord is not in vain.  -Pastor Greg Winslow

The grace of God keeps me going, and knowing that to give up now—to put my hand to the plow and look back—is unfit for the Kingdom. –Pastor Michael Duncan

My faith in God most of all. Knowing he will always remain faithful in spite of how things appear at any given moment. Knowing if I remain faithful to Him and the call, He will always carry me through every test and trial bringing me into a place of victory. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

Four things kept me going. (1) My personal relationship with our Lord which includes my personal calling. (2) The evidence of lives radically changed by the power of our Lord’s Spirit in their lives. (3) The encouragement of my greatest earthly gift, my precious wife. (4) Serving God’s children who are poor and hurting. -Dr.George W. (Bill) Nichols, Ph.D., Pastor, missions worker, author, artist

But Jesus said to him, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62 (NKJV)

What most encourages you?

When people turn to the LORD Jesus for salvation and when Christians find a greater level of faithfulness and love for Jesus—oh, that warms my heart! –Pastor Michael Duncan

Our reward is people doing well in God. -Pastor Paul and Linda Campo

This may sound almost cliche’, but the promise of the resurrection. Knowing all the struggles, evil, and suffering this world throws at us is only temporary. Believing we have a hope beyond this life that is glorious. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

People still serving God years after we left a church to pastor elsewhere.  –Allejandra Williams. 

Seeing people step into the their destiny as an extension of the ministry and into the Harvest field. Seeing new ministry rise up. Especially the youth. An example would be our boys band, getting to be a part of encouraging them when they were just starting out.   -Pastor Roger Williams

Who inspires you?

Dr. Gary Martin in California is one of my biggest inspirations. He is my “father” in the faith, was my mentor and pastor and is still a source of great encouragement for me. I am also inspired by the life of other men such as Oswald Chambers, Evan Roberts, C.H. Spurgeon, my father-in-law Eldon Iverson, and a host of other men who have gone before me and made the road a little straighter for men such as myself. –Pastor Michael Duncan 

My spiritual mentors. I have a few. Certain authors whose books I read- Yancy, Willard, Larry Crab, Henry Nouwen, Mark Buchannan. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon

Rick, a former pastor. Even though he’s gone home to be with the Lord, many of the things he taught me and the example he set as a man of God are forever engraved in my heart and mind. If there was anyone other than Jesus I would choose to be like, it would be him. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

Pastor Mitchell. People who for years despite what has been thrown at them, just continue and power on and have revival. That is what captured my attention at first. Real revival. There are people who grabbed hold of it and they’re seeing it. I really think we are standing on or just over the threshold of great things God is going to do. I believe we are closer today than ever before to things God has been promising for many years. -Pastor Chip Ganiear

My pastor. Pastor Mitchell. I go back to a critical time in my life when I needed to hear God’s voice Jesus made himself real to me and told me He was going to take care of me. The grace of God inspires me. -Pastor Roger Williams

Do you have someone you can talk to for counsel, direction, encouragement, and prayer, someone you can be really open with? What about friends? 

My mentors. I am a  member of a local fellowship of ministers from several churches in the area. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon

Fortunately yes! Other ministers and long standing Christian friends have always been a tremendous source of help for me when needs like this arise. Especially one person in particular who I’ve been acquainted with for many many years. Although we live nearly 3,000 miles apart, they are only a phone call away whenever I need someone I can pour my heart out to, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt they will be completely honest and open with me, while at the same time never being overly critical or judgmental. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

The level of expectations placed upon a pastor makes it difficult to find someone who is able to fully hear your heart. So, to answer this question… no, I don’t have someone I can counsel with or be really open with besides my wife. Very few expect that I’m actually human, with real feelings and failures, with joys and sorrows. I have, in the past, tried to be open and transparent with some—only to have my innermost thoughts and struggles come back against me by the very ones I hoped to trust. So I trust my heart to my wife and my LORD. –Pastor Michael Duncan

How do you keep your heart and zeal for people and God, in spite of people’s failings and some turning against you?

Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 NKJV

I simply look to the cross and remember what Jesus did for me when I was still an enemy of God. –Pastor Michael Duncan

Having a relationship with God- that has to come first, to be the focal and balance point of your life. -Pastor Chip Ganiear

I pray for the one who has turned, that keeps me from being bitter. I read the Word and good Christian literature. -Chantry La Belle, Pastor’s Wife, Presbyterian Church of Cape Cod 

Heaven is the goal. Nothing is worth missing it for.-Pastor Roger Williams

My agenda is the Kingdom of God. I’ve had that revelation of God since I was saved. I have to serve people with my whole heart; that’s Christlike, but it’s not easy. -Pastor Paul Campo

I work for God and not people.  I look to God and not to people for my reward. -Pastor James La Belle 

I remember who I am and Whose I am. -Donna, Pastor’s Wife

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, Colossians 3:23 (NKJV)

By not being co-dependent with the church. I don’t find my significance, my personal identity in the church. I am first and foremost Beloved of the Father. My next responsibility is to my family and then to the Church. I do my best, but the results are not a definition of my spiritual state. You have to keep them separate to keep from burn out.

If the church suddenly explodes in growth, that doesn’t make me an A+, and likewise if it doesn’t, that’s not a definition of my spiritual state. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich, MA

Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

Founded in 2010, Energize Ministries provides encouragement, refreshment, and recreational opportunities for pastors and ministry leaders and their families. Additionally, they spread awareness among churchgoers about the need to be intentional in supporting, encouraging and praying for their spiritual leaders.  Learn more about how to support and encourage your pastor at energizeministries.com

Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

“And Rachael is going to write a poem for our Pastor’s Wives Appreciation Luncheon,” she announced to the women’s Bible study group as we dismissed.

“What?” I said. “Wait a minute, Sandy!” I said, as I chased her into the lobby. “You can’t just order a poem. It doesn’t work like that! Do you think this is like driving up to Dunkin Donuts and ordering a small light extra cream and sugar?!”

“Well, if you don’t want to do it, I can find someone else.” She said nonchalantly as she spun around and walked away.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to do it. I can’t just make this happen!”  

“Hey!” I said,  as she pushed through the doors. “Pray for me!”  

I stood alone in the church. “God?” I said. “Help. Please? What do you want me to say?”

(Sarah’s daughter refers to the scripture: 1 Peter 3:6)

The night after I wrote For the Pastor’s Wife, I returned from church distressed. I threw myself onto a chair and said, “God, what about my pastor? What about the pastors, Lord? …Who is the pastor?” This was His answer:

© 2016 Rachael M Colby

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Mark 16:15 (NKJV)

What are some pros/ cons to Pastoring in the USA as opposed to overseas? 

I think that depends where you live. In Cuba the people worshiped God like I have never seen before. However despite cultural differences, in most places, people are exactly the same. -Stephanie Delcid, Missionary Wife, Potter’s House CFM, Ecuador 

Ecuador     Cuba 

Every country is so different! You do need to learn the way they do things. The mentality is different too. I believe our goal is not to come here and make them Americans; our goal is to introduce people to Jesus, for them to get saved, and of course, help if we can.

You do miss certain things, like some foods, your favorite cream, shopping online, sales. 🙂 But give it a month or two and you don’t think about that anymore; you readjust fast. – Vika Aaltonen, Missionary Wife, The Door, CFM, Helsinki, Finland.

Lithuania Finland

Pastoring in the U.S.

Advantages            

1. You know the culture
2. You have command of your native language and can share deeper spiritual concepts with the listener.
3. You usually have a solid support system that you may not have overseas, ex. denomination, spiritual movement, etc.

Disadvantages

1. A prophet is not welcome in his hometown, as with Jesus and Nazareth.
2. The pressures of our modern day, post-Christian culture that is always offering compromises to the faith and puts pressure on ministering effectively.
3.  The “marketplace” of churches allows those who lack commitment or who are avoiding responsibility in the community to shop around or move.

Pastoring Overseas

Advantages

1. Having served in a restricted nation, you and your faith can be a novelty and a curiosity.
2. God usually works in bringing people to you.
3. People in the nation I was serving wanted to improve their English and learn more about the American culture. This opened the door to sharing the Good News.

Disadvantages

1. Language barrier #1. It takes at least 2 years to become minimally functional in a language to share the gospel in an elementary way and many more years of regular exposure to be able to converse in a language where deeper spiritual issues can be discussed.
2. Getting to know the collective mind of a people takes time and, in many cases, painful effort.
3. You are at the mercy of the officials in restricted countries as to your length of stay, methods and modes of sharing without reprisal, and the like. -Pastor Sheldon Clarkson, Outer Cape Christian Church, Truro, MA       ***(Former missionary to a restricted country.)

Kenya  Malawi Austria

It is difficult to learn a new language, so, I would say that is a con. Also the climate can be difficult. -Chantry La Belle

Ministry in America is very hard. Our culture is so independent and affluent that people don’t see their need for a Savior. Thankfully, no culture is any match for the grace of God. God’s effectual calling is irresistible; those whom He comes to save, He saves, wonderfully and gloriously. Hence, the pastor’s calling is not to save souls, but to faithfully preach the the Scriptures, the primary means by which God opens blind eyes, changes hearts, and saves souls.   –Pastor James La Belle, author, Pastor, Presbyterian Church of Cape Cod (The La Belles are former Missionaries to Zimbabwe and Mozambique) 

Mozambique           Zimbabwe 

We dealt with a lot of witchcraft when we were missionaries to Trinidad. Here, the obstacle is the “all set” mentality. People are more prosperous and don’t always see their need for Christ. -Pastor Roger Williams,                      Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod, MA

The dangers of being a missionary keep you focused and praying. Whatever the dangers of being a missionary to Mexico, the greater danger is living in the United States of America and being distracted by lesser things.

I’m not against fun, but the distraction of entertainment, feeling the need to upgrade to the next thing, the overrating and pursuit of education, and a nice job, has led some in America to leave out the God factor. The Church in America, sees the problems, analyzes the problems, but doesn’t do anything about them; there’s more time spent watching football and the 140 channels on TV. We have tried to keep a missionary focus, stay ministry minded while home in the US. That’s why we’ve shunned TV.          -Pastor Greg and Suzanne Winslow, Missionaries to Zihuatanjo, Mexico

What has being a pastor/ pastor’s wife cost you?

Myself. Everything. It is a calling, a life, not a job. -Pastor James La Belle, author, Pastor, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod, MA

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. II Timothy 2:15 NKJV

But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:5 NASB 

Everything you are. -Pastor Paul Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod, MA

I don’t know if I view it in terms of cost, because as a Christian I would be doing a lot of the same things. I enjoyed what I did as a living before, but it wasn’t hard for me to leave it. The ministry has dictated where I live, but I want to be where God wants me to be. It’s a comfort.  All in all I am very content, blessed, pleased to be doing what I am. I don’t count it a burden. -Pastor Chip Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod, MA

Everything. To do the will of God is going to cross your will at times. Living where I don’t want to, being in places I’d rather not. God needs to be our one thing. People think they can do what they want, have it all and be a Christian. I don’t want to get to Heaven and have a little shack because I was so selfish here.What happened to, “What does God want me to do?” I don’t see anyone who has been faithful and is sorry. My husband and I are crazy enough to believe laying up treasure in Heaven is worth anything we sacrifice here. -Lori Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

Time, most of all, along with some personal liberties. It’s not a 9 to 5 job, it’s a 24/7/365 commitment. My personal point of view is if a person is going to take on the responsibility of being a shepherd to the flock of God they must be willing and prepared to sacrifice almost anything. It’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s a great honor as well as a huge responsibility. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

Time with my family. Interrupted plans or vacations. Like when we made plans to attend an event as a family and were ready to leave and there’s a knock at the door and a lady from the church is at the door with tears streaming down her face. She didn’t know we had plans… -Anonymous

Everything…It has isolated me until recently when I actually started going to another church as well as ours.-Anonymous

I suppose, from an earthly point of view, it has cost me something. I walked away from a corporate management situation, which would have given me a six-figure income in order to pastor this church which does not cover my living expenses. It has cost my family much for they have had to endure the rigors of ministry along with me. I have been persecuted, faced death-threats, nearly killed in an auto accident, have gone grey before my time, many sleepless nights and anxious days. I’ve endured ridicule, rumors and scandals and a host of other challenges and difficulties that try to steal my confidence in Christ. And, as Paul said to the Corinthian church: “Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.” -Rev. Michael Duncan, speaker, author and Pastor, Mountain View Baptist Church, Darrington, WA

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;  Matthew 6:20 NASB

What is the hardest part of being a pastor?

Not forgetting your dependence upon God; that you can’t do it in your own strength, you can do nothing without Him. -Pastor James La Belle

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 NKJV

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. I Corinthians 15:10 NKJV 

Balancing home, work and ministry.  -Pastor Wayne Schaffer, New Life, Altoona, PA

Dealing with stubborn, rebellious and ungrateful people. -Pastor Patrick Jordan, The Door CFM,  Jamaica, West Indies

Lack of appreciation; people can be so insensitive. You can’t talk to anyone without being asked a ministerial question. Living in a glass house. When you get shouted down. It’s even harder for the pastor’s wife, as she doesn’t have the release to be able to say something. -Pastor Paul Campo

Lonliness. -Anonymous

Getting insight into how people think of me that I really didn’t want to know, whereas if I wasn’t in this position I wouldn’t get that level of feedback. -Pastor Chip Ganiear

Trying to get people to understand the importance of taking the Word of God as seriously as they should. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

What has been the most unexpected hardship to pastoring?

Loneliness. Isolation. The toll it takes on our children. -Anonymous

Trying to be a source of strength and comfort for someone who has lost a loved one due to a tragic accident or suicide. Wanting to relieve their grief but knowing nothing I could say or do can accomplish that. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

I suppose the most unexpected hardship has been getting people to follow Jesus according to the Bible. When I first started preaching I assumed that most people attending church were actually seeking the Lord and hungry to know His word. That has not been my experience over these many years. -Rev. Michael Duncan

Still being a sinner. Being a pastor does not remove the need to wage the good fight and mortify my own sinful deeds and desires. Being a pastor does not remove your struggles; in some respects it increases them, since you become more of a target for Satan’s malice than you ever were before. –Pastor James La Belle

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14 NASB

What is your biggest challenge pastoring?

Being patient with God’s people; wanting and expecting them to change on my time schedule; trusting the all-wise and all-good God to work according to His will and timing. -Pastor James La Belle

Preparing four sermons a week, especially when there are no trigger thoughts. Betrayals.  – Pastor Patrick Jordan

Loving and forgiving every offense, no matter what. Keeping the ministry in its place and keeping a balance. -Anonymous

I hate counseling!!! It is draining and it seems worthless most times. Counseling is emotionally draining, especially when people are unwilling to heed the advice they’re seeking. -Anonymous

It’s non-stop; you’re on call 24 hours a day. Sometimes there are seasons of problems. -Pastor Paul Campo

Myself as an individual, dealing with my own pride and ego. Maintaining a level of humility is a bigger challenge than I wish it to be. It’s one of those things the ministry has built-in relief valves for.

You are always under the microscope. -Pastor Chip Ganiear.

An interesting question… My biggest challenge has been moving the congregation away from a corporate mentality to a Biblical one. Many churches and church members see the fellowship in the same light that they look at a health club or affinity group like the Elks Lodge. So, they have built-in expectations that are not Biblical, but based upon worldly presumptions. They see the pastor as the CEO or as the program/facilities manager of a corporation and as such have based their approach to the church as if they’re attending a service organization. -Rev. Michael Duncan

Our public schools have become the church of  humanists who teach evolution, Darwinism, and many other things that oppose and refute what the Bible teaches.

Due to this, many of our younger people see the Bible as a book of myths, legends, and tales, or a religiously based guide that an older generation with outdated moral standards is trying to impose upon them.

Knowing the youth are the future of our nation and realizing we must make a concentrated effort to reach them makes this a challenge I personally view as desperate. -Pastor, Transformation Ministries

I can handle the challenge people, the difficult people, the extra grace people. Churches are like rowboats. You can have people in the boat not rowing; you do want to encourage them to row; but what you can’t have is people rowing in the opposite direction. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich MA

*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

When you became a Christian, did you think you would be pastoring one day?

Heck no! -Sarah Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich, MA

I had no idea I would be a pastor. I revered them, but it was not something I sought out or thought I could ever do. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich MA

Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor / Pastor’s wife?

I went to school to be a teacher, not a pastor. I was in Mombasa Kenya teaching Bible theology, teaching pastors to be pastors. I thought maybe I needed to go and actually be steeped in it, pastoring, so I had experienced what I was teaching.  I came back to the US and ended up pastoring for 11 years in that church. I returned to Africa to Malawi and taught and pastored for 2 years and then pastored an international church in Vienna for 3 years before returning to New England to pastor a year ago.

I’ve never put the label of “pastor’s wife” or those expectations on my wife, Sarah. I’m the pastor and she’s my wife and can function in the church like all the other members. I don’t tell my wife our church members’ problems or what I counsel people about. That would be a breach in trust. -Pastor Bruce Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich MA

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Did you think when you became a Christian you would be pastoring one day?

I had the desire to marry a preacher, but I left my life as a blank check and said, “God, you fill it in.” -Lori Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

No. -Pastor Chip Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor / Pastor’s wife?

Life appeared dormant for awhile. In my 20’s I got called out and given a word about being like a certain bamboo tree that is dormant for years and then suddenly grows. -Lori Ganiear

I had been saved for 6 years when I went to a men’s discipleship class Pastor Campo was teaching. He didn’t know me at the time. It was the first time I had ever been given a word. Pastor Campo called me out and said, “God keeps putting your name on a list and you keep taking it off. Stop taking it off.” I went from that class pondering how God for a while had been telling me, “I want you to preach,” and I kept saying, Nah; I don’t think that’s really God. At that point God said, “Leave your name on the list; I want you to do that.” And I said, “Okay.” and started to agree with God.

It’s a privilege to be here and be a part of this ministry on the Cape. It’s always been a reference point. I remember being a new believer and coming here and I never thought I’d be doing what I’m doing. I’m looking forward to what God has for us. Grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow. It’s just the beginning.  (Pastor Ganiear is now married to Pastor Campo’s daughter, Lori. 🙂

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Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor / Pastor’s wife?

Before I became a Christian I always knew in my heart I was put here on Earth by God for a reason. I was attending my first East Coast Bible conference on Cape Cod when my pastor gave an altar call saying, “Whoever feels in their heart that God is calling them to preach the Gospel stand up.” I was very joyful being a Born Again Christian, but I had no idea until that moment that this was my calling. At that moment, God spoke to my heart and answered my lifelong question “Why was I on Earth?” He told me it was to be a pastor. -Pastor Peter Laine, Victory Chapel CFM, Dover NH

Less than a year after I gave my life to Jesus Christ I felt a pulling on my heart more and more toward God.  Before I get got saved I never thought of God, now I’m thinking about him every day, every moment. I could not get enough of Bible reading, church and fellowship with other Christians. I had a vivid dream about being a pastor’s wife which was so real that the next church service I told my pastor I had to talk to him and  it was urgent. You have to understand, we were in the middle of a Bible conference and here I was a novice Christian,  giving him the impression that I had this incredible need that could not wait. He graciously called me into his office during the service.

“I had a dream I’m going to be a pastor’s wife.” I said.

I waited for all this incredible Godly advice that I thought he would pour out, but he simply looked at me and said, “That’s nice.”

“What do I do to marry a pastor?” I asked.

I don’t know if he chuckled or held back laughter, but he simply said, “Keep serving God,” after responding  that pastors in our fellowship are already married.

“How do I get a man of God?”

“Be a woman of God.” He said. (Yup; that’s my pastor!) 🙂

I started praying and seeking God even more which led to God’s appointed time of me meeting my husband. -Ruthanne Laine, Victory Chapel CFM, Dover NH (Ruthanne is the friend, the Proverbs 31 woman I speak of in Welcome to My Dysfunction)

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Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor / Pastor’s wife?

I felt very blessed but a bit overwhelmed. It is quite an honor to be married to a pastor and a very high calling. -Chantry La Belle, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod MA

When I was 20 years old. But I had much to learn, both about myself and about the Lord and about His truth. So it was 14 years later before I was ordained and installed in my first church.

The pastor’s calling is a calling, not to a job, but to a life. The pastor is not his own man, he’s God’s man. He’s a herald with a divine message, an ambassador for the King of kings, a watchman in Israel, a laborer in the Lord’s vineyard, a bishop of souls, an elder in Christ’s church, an example to the flock. His life is to be eminently one of self-denial, self-sacrifice, selflessness, service, and devotion. If you can do anything else at all, then do it. No man should ever dare to enter the pastorate unless he’s certain of God’s calling. Because without it, he’ll be alone and both unfit and ill-equipped for the ministry; and without it, he’ll do the church more harm than good. He’d better be sure he’s called, anointed, equipped, Spirit-filled, and gifted by God, or he should sit down, get a job, and let someone else serve the church. The responsibility of the pastorate is the most sobering to which a man can be called. It is the highest calling a man can have and requires the greatest grace of all; humility. -Pastor James La Belle, author, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod MA

*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

Do you have any words of encouragement for pastors and wives raising kids in the ministry, especially to those who have prodigals?

Always pray for God’s plan for them. Sometimes being a mother of a lost child is hard and you kill yourself over their condition but through my life God has told my mother many many times, “stop praying for what you think they need and hand them over to me for what I know they need.” –Ben Laine, 16 years old. Son of Pastor Peter and Ruthann Laine, Victory Chapel, CFM, Dover NH

First of all, if your kids are young train them up like your own little disciples. Don’t go easy and don’t give them an option. You assume they want to follow God and bring them up in that way. Train them for the ministry even from a young age.

If you have prodigals this could be an opposite situation than the younger kids. Do not judge them and condemn them. Ask God to show you how by love to win them over. They already know what’s right to do so you harping on them all the time will only push them away. Pray for them and don’t push religion on them but by your example shown, they may be won over. – Lysandra Winslow, 24 years old, Daughter of Pastor Greg and Suzanne Winslow, Missionaries to Zihuatanejo, Mexico

Keep praying for and loving them. I really believe that’s how I got saved.  Because my parents were prayer warriors! -Faith Scott, Second Generation Pastor’s Wife, Daughter of Reverend Ralph and Mary Wise, Potter’s House CFM, Roselle Park, NJ

Keep praying! My grandmother prayed 12 children back into the kingdom!- Maria Winslow, Daughter of Pastor Tim and Faith Scott, Victory Chapel, Hagerstown, MD

Don’t preach to your children, they’re not your congregation. Teach your children, by example in the way of the Lord with utmost patience, and it will be the core foundation in their life choices. They want to do what is right, but don’t know how, and need your love, guidance, encouragement, and forgiveness.  If they stray, pray for them to find their way back to the Father. -David

God first. Family second! Then the church. Never, never, never, put the church before your spouse and kids. If some church emergency does come up, be sure to explain to your kids why you need to go, but be sure to always make it up to them. As much as possible, attend their games, recitals, fairs, concerts, etc.. -Pastor Schaffer, New Life, 2nd Generation Pastor  Altoona PA, (His son recently became a Youth Pastor.)

Is there anything else you like to say to the Church about being a PK?

I’m sorry I waited so long to give my life to Christ. I could have avoided so much heartache and depression. -Faith Scott

Thank u for being patient with us!!! -Maria Winslow

Don’t expect PK’s to be any different than anyone else. We are individuals not clones of our parents.  -David

Don’t ever say, “You’re the pastor’s kid, you should know better.” Because our response that we keep to ourselves is, “You call yourself and adult Christian; act like one!” -Pastor Schaffer

For those of you are PKs and are now pastoring and raising PKs of your own: How has being raised as a PK equipped you to parent your own?

I had a great example from my own parents growing up. They were always there for me and my sisters. I also had some bad examples of pastors I served alongside, whose kids ran as far as they could away from the church. -Pastor Schaffer

For those of you who are now pastors or pastors wives; What are your thoughts on being the second or third generation in this call?

My dad always said I was crazy. He said “I can’t believe you are signing up for this after all you’ve seen.”

How awesome to have this legacy. -Lori Ganiear,  Pastor’s Wife, Daughter of Pastor Paul and Linda Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

We keep saying to each other, what a great heritage! -Faith Scott

I am the third generation pastors wife in my family.Knowing what to expect in this instance doesn’t matter. Nothing can prepare you for this life, but God is good and faithful! -Maria Winslow

Is there anything you would like to say to your parents, or tell us about your parents?

My folks are an awesome Godly example. I appreciate that they have stood for what’s right even when it’s not popular My dad will not be manipulated. I would not have the life I have now if they hadn’t made the choices they did. I know what I would have been without God, and it’s not good. My dad had been a real rock. Steady. -Lori Ganiear

My parents have always had a certain grace with me through hard times which has always been relieving and helpful. -Ben laine

Thank you for being diligent and consistent in correcting me and teaching me God’s way.

One of the most important things my parents instilled in me since I was little was a personal devotional time with God which consisted of reading His word and praying or worshipping Him.  –Lysandra Winslow

Thanks for running the race and making it!  You have sat the example and now you are both with Christ!  And because of that I will see you both again someday! -Faith Scott

My parents as well as Matthew’s parents have left us with a rich inheritance that we are so grateful for. Thanks to them and their sacrifice we have the marriage and family we are blessed with. They shaped us into who we are and and gave us the tools to survive this life and we are blessed!! -Maria Winslow

Thank you, my loving parents for always allowing me to be who I am, loving me under all circumstances. I have learned so much about forgiveness and living life as the Father would have us. You have walked the walk as the example of how to endure the trials and tribulations that may come our way.  -David

They were and continue to be my hero’s of the faith. They raised me well and I am forever grateful for the Godly heritage. -Pastor Schaffer

*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

What is it like being raised as the preacher’s Kid? What are some pros and cons?

Being a preacher’s kid is a life that no one can understand unless they too have been raised in it.Through the years my parents and others have said that along with being raised a preacher’s kid comes perspective that most kids my age are not blessed with. With this perspective I have been able to make hard decisions for God that have blessed me.

A burden that comes with being a pastor’s kid is having to be an example for many others. People in the congregation sometimes forget the fact that even pastors kids are human and mess up, and even with forgiveness a lot of people are hurt and affected by wrongdoings committed by the pastor’s kid.  -Ben Laine 16 years old. Son of Pastor Peter and Ruthann Laine, Victory Chapel, CFM, Dover NH

Cons: Living in fishbowl. Balancing privacy and having everyone observing your life. Always looked at as an example. You always have to think how what you do affects others. –Lori Ganiear,  Pastor’s Wife, Daughter of Pastor Paul and Linda Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

Hahaha… Well, I don’t know how it feels any other way. But growing up as the pastor’s kid I felt everyone had their eyes on us expecting us to have a high standard of living. Which I believe for me it wasn’t that hard because of the way my parents brought us up. Since I was young I was taught the word of God, how to sit still and listen in church, how to have my own time with the Lord.

Pros: You get treated and respected as if you were the pastor himself ( at times that is) …you get to meet and even hang out with mighty men and women of God that otherwise you probably wouldn’t get to. Also as a preacher’s kid you get to suggest how to do or not do things in around the  church, cuz, well he is your dad! The cons: Missing church is frowned upon. You have to share your parents with other people. You see your parents go through hardships and see how some people just take advantage of them or speak lies about them.  –Lysandra Winslow, Daughter of Pastor Greg and Suzanne Winslow, Missionaries to Zihuatanejo, Mexico

I got to see God move in more ways than one.  Also, lol,  there were always people at our table sharing our food! -Faith Scott, Second Generation Pastor’s Wife, Daughter of Reverend Ralph and Mary Wise, Potter’s House CFM, Roselle Park, NJ

Pro: You have a definite advantage in your marriage and child raising that some couples won’t have. With both of us being pastors kids and having parents that love God and each other it becomes our inheritance.

Con: You are held to a higher standard and it can be frustrating sometimes. -Maria Winslow, Third Generation Pastor’s Wife, Daughter of Pastor Tim and Faith Scott, Victory Chapel, Hagerstown, MD

I didn’t know anything different. I was introduced to faith in God at an early age and have always felt the presence of God in my life. People expect PK’s to be saints, but we are sinners by nature just like all other human beings. People are really hard on PK’s parents when they aren’t perfect little angels. -David

It can be very difficult. Church people expect you to be perfect little angels. It’s okay for their kids to mess up, but not the “preacher’s” kid.  I honestly don’t think there are any pros to it.  –Pastor Schaffer, New Life, 2nd Generation Pastor  Altoona PA, (His son recently became a Youth Pastor.)

How is/ was your childhood as a PK different from other children?

We were always under the microscope. -Faith Scott

Moving a lot, but rich in culture. I have been all over the world and have met people from everywhere which I would not have been able to experience otherwise. -Maria Winslow

It seemed pretty much the same to me as any other Christian home. We had the same trials and tribulations as all families. I did attend both adult (with my dad) and youth bible classes and choir. I also loved following him around as he ministered to people in sickness and in health.  -David

My parents were very good at letting us be kids. There were times however when I’d get passed over for a part in the Christmas play because I was the pastor’s son or that I’d be told I couldn’t win a prize in children’s church because of the same reason. –Pastor Schaffer

Do you feel you are/were treated differently as a PK than other children in church by adults and by your peers?

Pretty normal. Depends on the person. I just tried to be real. -Lori ganiear

Yes, we were treated with more respect, I believe .  Lysandra Winslow,

We are raised to a certain standard which sometime becomes a frustration when thinking that we “didn’t choose this life.” –Ben Laine

It seemed liked adults expected me to be more like my dad, but I’m not. He is very outgoing, animated and speaks with confidence. I have always been an introvert, soft spoken, and it is difficult for me to speak in front of people. I prefer small personal intimate gatherings.  -David

Adults definitely treated me different. My peers just treated me like another kid. -Pastor Schaffer

Did you resist the Gospel when you were younger and if so, why?

No. -Lori Ganiear

Resisting the gospel was never a problem for me. Growing up in church I was fortunate enough to see so many miracles done by Jesus, therefore leading me to not be able to ever disbelieve anything in the Bible.

I have seen multiple healings, myself included when I was 5 years old. I had major seizures and doctors were dumbfounded. Pastor Mitchell prayed over me and I felt a wind go down my arm. I knew it was the breath of God and from there on I was healed. –Ben Laine

Ben, you forgot to mention it’s a miracle that you exist in the first place! You were a miracle baby.

Very true!! –Ben Laine

No.  Lysandra Winslow

Yes.  I think I didn’t understand and I wanted to live in the world like my friends. -Faith Scott

No, I never did. I had a healthy fear of God and Hell and even when I wasn’t living right I knew I was wrong and I was afraid. -Maria Winslow

Absolutely not. My favorite book, from the time I could read until I was ten years old, was a children’s Bible with beautiful pictures to go along with the text.  On my tenth birthday I received my first adult bible and read it daily. 

I have always had a deep conviction in my heart for the Lord and understanding that He is the way. When I turned 16 and starting driving and group dating, I started bending to peer pressure like all teenagers. I think my parents must have prayed a lot during my teenage years. Fortunately, I always had this voice in my head telling me when I going to cross the line and was deeply convicted. Scripture would pop into my head reminding me what God expected from us. I learned later that the Holy Spirit was working to keep me on the straight and narrow.  -David

I never resisted the Gospel. But at age 12, I did tell my best friend that if I ever said I want to be a pastor, to just shoot me. Yet here I am because it’s the call, not a job. -Pastor Schaffer

You’ve been privileged to be raised with Godly parents. Do you have any advice for the youth who are PKs and also for the Church Kid?

God sat me down in the front row seat and said, “watch this.” I watched people’s good and bad decisions play out before my eyes. I didn’t want the reputation of being a wayward PK, like others. It’s just not worth it. I knew the bridge was out if I went that way, so I set myself towards God. -Lori Ganiear

There is an assault against PKs. Even if you are raised in a Christian home doesn’t mean you won’t go through stuff. Everybody goes through hard times. -Lori Ganiear

Listen to your parents. Ha ha. –Ben Laine

My advice is to see it as a privilege that God has spared you from living in the world, messing up your life and wasting it.  –Lysandra Winslow,  

*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10 NLT

Tell me about when you realized you were called to be a Pastor’s wife?

I’ve always had a burden for others so when I became a pastor’s wife, it made sense to me. –Donna

For me it wasn’t a calling so much as a surrender of my plans to whatever God would want us to do. I had my own agenda but God had better idea. -Kerry, CFM

If you could tell your church anything about yourself, your family, or anything else what would it be? What’s on your heart?

We love you. We support you. We need you to support the church. We need you to attend faithfully. We need you to give faithfully. We need you to use your talents faithfully. –Rosemarie, small rural Assemblies of God church.

That we love them. A lot. Vika Aaltonen, Missionary Wife, The Door, CFM, Helsinki, Finland.

What are some duties you perform for the church on a regular basis that your congregation may not be aware of?

Cleaning, nursery duties. Help with books and paying bills. Overseeing things, making sure people have what they need. -Lori Ganiear, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

What is your biggest challenge pastoring?

Being compared to other pastors’ wives. Trying to put aside the frustration of your physical limitations as you age and people expect you to be able to respond as you did when you were 30 years younger. Linda Campo, Victory Chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

What most breaks your heart?

People who are just there for themselves and don’t do anything. -Sarah Hanlon, Forrestdale Church, Sandwich MA

When you’re not seeing what you want to see in ministry. -Lori Ganiear

Backsliders. -Kerry

When I see someone backsliding. –Chantry labelle, Presbyterian Church, Cape Cod.

Do you ever want to quit?

Yes.  –Rosemarie

Yes and no. -Donna

Absolutely! You say it to yourself to make yourself feel better, but you can’t (quit). -Lori Ganiear

What keeps you going?

New believers, helping hurting people.  –Rosemarie

Jesus. Love and prayer. -Donna.

Knowing that the Lord upholds me.  –Chantry Labelle

I do everything as unto the Lord. That enables me to endure what I need to as a pastor’s wife. -Lori Ganiear

What most encourages you?

Finding friends. Praise. -Donna

Seeing growth in those who are part of the congregation, watching children and families excited about their life in Christ and about sharing that truth with others. –Rosemarie

Scripture, my husband and friends.  –Chantry Labelle

One of the children we used to pick up for church when we were missionaries in Trinidad called twenty years later to thank me. -Alejandra Williams, Victory chapel CFM, Cape Cod MA

The change in people’s lives. -Sarah Hanlon

Who inspires you?

Pastor Mitchell, (of Potter’s hose CFM, Prescott, Arizona.)  -Kerry, CFM

I have a small accountability women’s group. The relationships there help me in my personal Christian walk. -Sarah Hanlon

People in our congregation who work 40+ hours a week, have families and commitments, yet still come and give of time in church. Bible studies and outreach.  –Rosemarie

I have respect for seasoned pastor’s wives who have gone before me. -Lori Ganiear

Are you ever lonely? If so, how do you counter it?

Our Assemblies of God district has an amazing group of ladies and they work so hard to keep a connection.  –Rosemarie

It can be lonely at times, but you do get close to your spouse and you have to get close to God. -Lori Ganiear

What kind of challenges do you face as a Pastor’s wife raising Preacher’s Kids?

Life in the fishbowl. Sarah Hanlon

The assumptions and expectations of others.  -Donna

I think the same as everyone else. I want to hold them to the same standards even if we are not pastoring since the goal is to have God-loving, God-fearing children. That’s why we have standards, right? Not because of the position  of ministry. Vika Aaltonen

Making sure our children never resent the ministry. Making sure we keep our focus on our family when it needs to be. Trying to keep the church business at the church.  –Rosemarie 

What is the hardest thing about being a Pastor’s wife?

It is hard to feel like part of the church as you don’t exactly have a pastor and you can’t exactly fit. -Donna

Glass bubble syndrome and compassion fatigue.  –Rosemarie, Pastor’s wife, small rural Assemblies of God church.  

When someone in the church says something hateful or is disgruntled about the ministry or my husband.  –Chantry Labelle

When people use it as an insult. “Well,” people will say, “for a pastor’s wife, she should know better.” when my actions don’t line up with their preconceived notions, or if I act like an actual human, On the flip side, I have had close family members accuse me of trying to be holier now, in a disingenuous way because, “You’re a pastor’s wife now.” – Anonymous

When people leave the church after you invest years in them and they leave without even a phone all and don’t even return your calls. -Mary Webb, Church 180 CFM,  Missasagua, Canada

Do you have someone you can talk to for counsel, direction, encouragement, prayer, someone you can be really open with? What about friends?

Yes. My husband and a few close friends.  –Chantry Labelle

My pastor. Other pastors and wives. -Alejandra Williams

How do you keep your heart and zeal for people and God, in spite of people’s failings and some turning against you?

Keeping focus on those who are growing and learning and sharing.  –Rosemarie

All we can take to Heaven is people. Investing everything in people is worthwhile. The works of God will outlive us. I just have to do my part. We have to have an eternal perspective because in this life, we may not see everything you are hoping for. -Lori Ganiear

What are some things your church could do to lighten your load or refresh you and your family, so you can better serve God and them?

Take more initiative to grow and feed themselves, Take more initiative to be involved in ministry.  –Rosemarie

Participate more in church activities. Vika Aaltonen

Pray for my family and show hospitality to our visitors and each other.  –Chantry Labelle

Be nice to your pastor and his wife. Give them cards for birthdays, pastor appreciation, and Christmas- and not just empty cards! Find out where they like to eat, give gift cards for groceries or gas. -Anonymous.

Pray. Doing practical things to help like cleaning. Pastors and wives and get in a grind and need to get away sometimes and be refreshed. Everyone does. -Lori Ganiear

For the Church to love people who come through the door. If everyone is where they need to be then the load is lighter. -Alejandra Williams

What do you see as the biggest threat to the Church today, not your church specifically?

Lack of prayer.  -Kerry

Complacency. Lack of commitment. Busyness. –Rosemarie

The ungodly influence of the world on our children. –Chantry Labelle

Worldliness. Me, me, me, consumerism mentality. Vika Aaltonen

People won’t stand for Christ. You will be deceived if you don’t stand. People addicted to drama. They have an ankle deep relationship with God.  -Lori Ganiear

What do you think is the reason for the worldly Church? Ignorance or compromise?

Both. Biblical ignorance and they’re afraid to speak up; they’ve watered down the Gospel. -Sarah Hanlon

What do you believe is the key to revival?

Prayer. -Kerry

Personal heart change.  –Rosemarie

The Holy Spirit’s work in our own hearts. –Chantry Labelle

Personal revival and in families can jump to others. The church becoming desperate and coming together and praying for revival. –Vika Aaltonen

People need to fall in love with Jesus.  -Lori Ganiear

What is a favorite memory of pastoring?

I count it a privilege when people trust you and you can get a phone call at any time, good or bad. One morning a sister from the church who was in line for adopting called to say there was a 2 year old boy at the hospital waiting for a new family. Our family stopped what we were doing, went to the store and bought them a car seat, diapers, food. I love playing my small role and witnessing how God answers prayers. –Vika Aaltonen

What is the funniest or craziest encounter, situation you’ve experienced during your ministry that you are free to share?

Getting lice from one of the children we picked up for church. But it was worth it. They are still serving God today. -Alejandra Williams

When we pastored in Lithuania, a young guy came and sat in the row in front of me. He was fine until the preaching part. He kept turning and asking if I liked the church, smirking and making comments saying how the pastor was wrong. I kept thinking, if only you knew that was my husband preaching. Finally, I got up and hid in the nursery. I thought it funny that out of all the people, he picked me to dump on. –Vika Aaltonen

What is your favorite thing about being a Pastor’s wife?

Praying for people and the presence of God falls on them.  -Alejandra Williams

Seeing God change someone, when they get it and God creates this beautiful creature out of them and they go on to the destiny God has for them. -Mary Webb

Seeing God change people’s lives and they are blessed and go on to do the will of God. -Lori Ganiear

Loving people.  –Rosemarie

Being married to my husband. -Kerry

The Pastor.  -Donna

 (Great answer, Kerry and Donna! 😉 )

*Text the word PASTOR to 74574 for daily/weekly reminders & tips to pray for your pastor.

**Share some words of appreciation for your pastor and he will be listed on the Wall of Honor and entered to win a retreat at the Energize Lodge. http://energizeministries.com/latest-news/pastor-wall-of-honor/