Be wary of comparing. It’s a wretched road which leads to self-doubt and discontent. Stop. Look to God.
God withholds no good thing from us. So, to be jealous or discouraged because of someone else’s success is like accusing God of denying or not knowing what’s best for us. It’s an attempt of the heart to mutiny against the Lordship of Christ. God makes the path, sets the pace and wants to patiently, lovingly, bring us to the destiny He has for us.
I understand massive spiritual assaults, like apathy and doubt. Sometimes I’m so exhausted and discouraged I feel like my pen weighs a ton and it’s so hard to pick it up and write. I understand no time, little support, feeling overwhelmed— and procrastination.
I am acutely aware of my inability and shortcomings. And I’m so grateful for Jesus’ guidance and empowerment to overcome.
Others inspire, challenge, and teach me. But Jesus calls me to follow Him, and by His grace, to become the best me I can be for Him.
A lump of clay is of little use until it is yielded to the molding of the potter’s hands. It’s value is determined by who the potter is and his workmanship.
So it is also with us. We are dust, clay- and Jesus is the Potter. Like a lump of clay, our existence lacks significance until we fulfill our purpose. Our first purpose is to know Him; He created us for relationship with Him. We cannot form ourselves into what God’s intent is for us. We are truly nothing on our own.
It’s as we place ourselves in The Master Artist’s hands and let Him work out our imperfections, mold and shape us into the vessel He intends for us to become, that our identity, purpose and value is realized.
God makes no duplicates, so why compare yourself?
God does not judge greatness or reward according to talents and accomplishments, but rather, by the intent of the heart and faithful stewardship to His calling.
There are no insignificant tasks when I am doing what God has called me to.
There is no less than or better than, in God’s eyes- just obedience or disobedience to His will.
You cannot attain anything greater than the destiny God has for you. We are all called to greatness in God.
Jesus is a hands on kind of Maker. We are His workmanship.
For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 (NKJV)
Have you allowed the enemies of frustration, doubt and fear to hinder you? What are you going to do about it?
What has God called you to do? Do that. What are your gifts? Don’t doubt them- develop them.
It is my responsibility and God’s desire for me to use my gifts for His glory and to serve others. If I do that, I will have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to be proud of either, because it’s all given by Him.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 (NKJV)
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” Galatians 6:4 (NLT)
So, to my writer friends I say, sit your butt down in the chair, and just write! Just start. Lay one word down on the page and then another and another… Pay attention to your heart and the stress, and the mess, and the blessed around you. It’s all potential writing material.
There’s a whole hurting, dying world out there waiting for a glimpse of Jesus and his grace and power. Your words can be the window.
Don’t draw back— carry on soldier. Write on. Let’s press the battle to the gates.
Yes, we all have much learning and growing to go. So, “Go!”
Daddy held my hand as we entered the arched iron gates to the botanical gardens. Memories of his buying me Wrigley’s gum, elephant ear pastries, and Matchbox cars still bring a smile. He carried me when I was injured and scraped every speck of black pepper off my food. And bumper cars. I hated them, but I never told him because I liked to hear him laugh—and we were together.
I lived with Grandma in the countryside on the north coat of Jamaica, and Daddy lived on the south coast in the city, so I treasured his visits. He gave me a toypiano, like Schroeder’s in the “Peanuts” comic strip. I played it as loudly as I could because I believed it would make him visit us sooner. I loved our adventures. Sometimes he brought gifts.
One morning, Daddy showed up for a visit and handed me a big box. Grandma gave him a warning look as he hadn’t sought her pre-approval on this one—a tie-dye set. Perhaps he thought his gift was just fine for a six-year-old and Grandma’s nice tile floors.
“You gave her the tie dye set. You get her cleaned up!” Grandma said and pushed us outside. A bucket of soapy water, a scrub brush, and our stifled laughter under the mango tree. Pinned to the clothesline, my brightly colored creation flapped happily in the breeze. I loved that hat.
We made kites with bamboo and tissue paper. They always crashed, but that was okay. He drove too fast on the windy island mountain roads in his little ultramarine Triumph Spitfire. At the amusement park, Daddy emerged pale and shaky after riding the corkscrew roller coaster, but waited for me while I went again. He got upset when I fared better with a drop line than he did with his expensive fishing rod.
When I was a young teen, he took me to Disney World. His camera bag embarrassed me, as it looked like a purse, and I feared someone might recognize us. So I pretended I didn’t know him and walked several feet ahead, or behind.
Daddy wouldn’t let me accept the invitation to run off for the day with the boy I met at the Disney resort. I cried when Daddy scared him away. All the boys were afraid of my daddy. I didn’t yet appreciate his protectiveness.
Daddy had his problems. At times, he missed the mark—and it was painful. But he loved his children and grandchildren. Sometimes God uses imperfect people to guide our lives if we let Him. We only have a finite amount of time to know, understand, and reconcile with each other, to extend forgiveness and grace like God does to us. I’m grateful for our time. Life is too short, and eternity too near to be at odds with those God calls us to love.
Then one day he was gone. Just. Like. That. Death gave no warning. I didn’t know that was our last I love you. I wasn’t ready. But God is the one who numbers our days; He said it was time.
Though he’s gone, his voice still echoes in my mind. “Daugh-tah, come here. Child of mine, I love you so much, yuh see,” my father would say in his accent.
My Daddy made mistakes; he wasn’t a perfect father. None of them are. Except for one. He calls me daughter too.
The Perfect Father
Relentless and reckless in His love for us,
He seeks and rescues us from our wanderings.
God is ever-present.
He is holy.
He is our help in all He calls us to,
A father to the fatherless.
He offers hope and healing to the hurting heart,
Strength to the weak,
Forgiveness from failure,
A new beginning at the end of our road.
In my destitution,
He clothed me in His righteousness.
Adopted and adored,
Never alone.
I come into His presence,
Call Him Abba, Father.
“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12 NLT)
“You received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’” (Romans 8:15 NLT)
*This piece, In Step with My Father, was originally posted on 6/10/2016. Revisions and additions made in 2017 and 6/2025.
~~~*~~~
God is the only perfect father. He is afather to the fatherless. Jesus went to great lengths to meet us where we are. He left his throne in Heaven, donned human flesh, and died to save us from our sin, and reconcile us to Himself, to God. He loves us in spite of ourselves. But we have to accept Him.
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. Psalms 68:5
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26 NLT
Father, daughter, son, is there a breach that needs mending? Will you start the journey to restoration? Just take one small step. May I suggest the first one be to pray; and the second,forgive? Maybe you won’t get where you’d like to on this side of eternity. Maybe you are only able to take those first two steps. That’s okay. Just start, and let God be God, the mender of hearts. Extend grace like God does for us, even though we don’t deserve it.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 NKJV
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NLT
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!” Matthew 18:21-22 NLT
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV
SONG: The Blessing – Jim Trick
Dads- your children, your wives, your country needs you. Will you step up to the plate?
“Here I am Father. Forgive me. Help me to forgive those who hurt me. Help me to step in Your footprints, and walk a little closer with You Jesus.”
SONG: Lead Me – Sanctus Real
Yeah, you are probably going to mess up sometimes, stumble and fall in the process. But God will pick you up. He’s like that.
SONG: Good, Good Father – Chris Tomlin
LINK TO: The Father Effect, Movie – 3 Minute Trailer (*Warning: Contains some sensitive material)
John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to… http://thefathereffect.com/about
Focus on the Family is a global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive. We provide help and resources for couples to build healthy marriages that reflect God's design, and for parents to raise their children according to morals and values grounded in biblical principles.
To speak with a family help specialist, request resources, make a donation over the phone, inquire about general information, or to report a problem, contact us at the number below.
Relationship problems are the result of sin played out in that forum. Sin is the culprit- our own brokenness, the gap in our relationship with Christ- where we are, as opposed to where Christ would have us to be.
Sometimes I catch myself praying for God to change circumstance and behavior when what is needed is for God to change hearts-oftentimes my own. Our actions and reactions are merely a symptom of the problem. When God transforms a heart, the change will spill out to influence all circumstance and relationships. We need to treat the root, not the fruit, if we want true and lasting change.
When I focus on my unmet needs, nobody’s needs are met, because no one is serving. I’m just having a self serving pity party. If I want to see change, then I must change, and the only way that will happen is if I let Christ have His way in me. I must give Jesus the reins of my heart.
“Will the tears ever stop, Lord?”
You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?Psalms 56:8 (NKJV)
“Sometimes I think that must be a really big bottle, Lord.”
But to forgive the incessant provocations of life- to keep on forgiving the the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son- how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning what we say in our prayers each night,“forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.” -C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
Forgiving means letting go of offenses, not holding it against the person. It means wiping slate clean, canceling the debt, not retaliating.
What if I dared to speak the words I’ve never said?
What if I set them free from the captivity of silence?
Would the chains of pain be broken?
Or would the weight of regret be too great?
For once let loose I cannot call them back.
“Lord…?”
He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.Isaiah 53:7 (NKJV)
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven- …A time to be silent and a time to speak.Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 7 (NASB)
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.Psalms 141:3 (NKJV)
Extending forgiveness requires humility, putting aside my pride, emotions. It means valuing relationships and being right with God over my rights.
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV)
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32 NKJV)
Rather than trying to fix others, I need to fix my relationship with Christ. When I let Jesus overhaul my inward man, the core of me, many of my relationship problems resolve themselves. He is the restorer.
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?(Matthew 7:4 NKJV)
As the old song goes, “It’s not my brother, not my sister, but it’s me, oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.”
I’m guilty, Lord.
Here I am
Forgive me
Heal my divided, renegade heart.
Deliver me from myself, my sin.
Change me, Jesus
I long for one accord with You
But I fail; I fall
Remember,
I am dust, Lord
Help me
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.(II Corinthians 12:9 NKJV)
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6 (NKJV)
You are The Way
Have your way in me, Lord
Burn up the dross
Make me pure
I want to love like You
Refine me until I reflect You
Jesus,
Song of my soul,
My heart’s desire and delight,
Form Yourself in me
I want to be one with You
Standing In The Need Of Prayer (Live)
I must extend forgiveness if I want to be forgiven, even if the other person is wrong and unrepentant. This requires a supernatural enabling.
How I forgive others = God’s grace extended to me in forgiveness
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because Christ forgave the inexcusable in you. -C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
Many times what God asks of us is impossible in our own strength. He knows we will fail in our own strength. He want us to acknowledge our brokenness, failures, our need, so He can change and empower us.
Matthew West – Forgiveness (Lyrics)
Jesus didn’t just die for those who would accept Him. He paid the penalty for all the sins of those He knew would reject Him too. The sins of all humanity were borne on the shoulders of the great I Am.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8 NKJV)
Jesus did His part. He paid the price and provides forgiveness- it’s available up front, but we must choose to accept or reject it.
We must let go of unforgiveness, of sin, if we want to receive the forgiveness He offers. We can’t hold on to both.
Regardless of the behavior of others, if I forgive them and yield to God’s refining of my heart and character through the circumstances in my life, I will be rewarded with a closer walk with Jesus and the peace that comes from a right heart.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.(Psalms 28:7 NKJV)
Love is forgiving. Love is serving. We are commanded to love. When I set my heart and mind to love and serve others as Christ calls me to, even if it is unrequited, Jesus will fulfill me. There is joy and contentment when my heart rests in Jesus’ hands and I walk in His ways.
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy. Matthew 5:7 (NASB)
Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.Matthew 5:8 (NKJV)
Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.Matthew 5:9 (NKJV)
The Story Behind the Song, Forgiveness –Matthew West
Robin & Spencer’s Story
On January 26 2002 my life changed forever. My son Spencer Macleod was brought into the ER where I was working as a nurse, barely clinging to life from a stab wound to the heart. He was pronounced dead fifteen minutes later. It was then that I discovered his identity. He died coming to the rescue of…Continued at: http://spencersmom.com/the-story/
attention to your heart and the stress, and the mess, and the blessed around you. It’s all potential writing material.
Tattoo It On Your Heart 